Coasting

This morning as I awakened, my mind drifted into a peace that it hasn't felt in eleven days. My children are home! Last night they arrived with the stories of a wonderful vacation shared with their grandparents. Souvenirs were displayed, stories were told, and hugs exchanged. Great. Big. Bear. Hugs!

There is nothing quite as comforting as waking up knowing exactly where your children are- because their heads are lying only feet away from you. Whew...I can breath a little deeper today. Thank you God.

So this morning I am coasting. Happy to have my children in one place, under my own roof. Happy to have a few weeks left of summer to be lazy and carefree. Coasting...

Looking back, I realize that this has been an entire year of coasting for Sara Ashley and her learning differences. Unlike the years leading up to this one, we have had an almost pain-free normal year of school, friendships, extracurricular activities, and academics. Actually, we have had a stellar year. With her award winning essay, Character Award, interest in horseback riding, and several new friendships formed, it has been a groundbreaking year. This coasting thing is becoming very comfortable. And that makes me nervous.

When things are going so right, do you begin to wonder when they will inevitably start going wrong?

This is called fear and it has the power to altar my perspective tremendously. 

Fear is nothing new to me. It's something that I'm not proud of and I work hard every day not to let it control me. But it still rears its ugly head on more occasions than I would like to admit. Faith, courage and love are the antithesis of fear. Upon discovering that this year of coasting is creating fear in my mind, I have begun to pray for faith and courage. Prayer can provide answers. The fruit of my prayer and what God has asked me to remember is found in these verses. 

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11

1 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for 
every event under heaven-

2 A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time 
to uproot what is planted. 

3 A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. 

4 A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.

5 A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. 

6 A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and time to throw away. 

7 A time to tear apart and a time to sew together. A time to be silent and a time to speak.

8 A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace. 

11 He has made everything appropriate in its time.  


This is our time for coasting. 

So today I try to remember to celebrate. This is a wonderful season for my daughter. She is thriving. She is growing and learning. She is happy and beautiful. She is my heart. This is her time. 

Does that mean that tomorrow won't be her time too? I have to erase that fear. Troubles will come, like the changing winds of the seasons. But, like the wind, the Holy Spirit stays with us throughout our seasons. 

Loving us.
Guiding us. 
Empowering us in our journey. 

I am determined! I will not be afraid! I will allow myself to be free to enjoy the seemingly effortless coasting of this glorious season. 

And I will thank God for the fruit.

How about you? Are you coasting these days too? Or perhaps this is a season of storms for you? Let us pray for you. Please leave your comments or Message me so that we can pray for you or celebrate with you during this part of your journey.

Connecting the Dots

It began about three years ago. Bear with me, it's a long story, but I think it's a good one.

I was reading "Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul" in bed one night and came upon a story entitled "Welcome to Holland." Considering what we were experiencing with Sara Ashley, the story was very relevant to me and I found that it gave me a greater perspective of our circumstances. I also copied it and sent it to a young couple who was expecting a child with Down Syndrome, hoping it would help them too. It would be a few years, but in His time I would find out God's plan to use this story again, connecting the dots in my life to the lives of others and to His purposes for me.



Fast forward three years to this January. In an earlier post about a little girl named Emery Claire, I told you about spending time in a chapel with her grandmother, Sophia. We shared our experiences with our children, our fears and struggles, but also our joys and triumphs. And she told me about this precious little granddaughter of hers who is bringing such joy to their lives. I was also prompted to share with her the story I had read three years before, "Welcome to Holland." At the time, I simply felt that I was sharing out of my knowledge. I would soon find out that I was sharing from a prompting by the Holy Spirit. Although I didn't realize that this story was written by a mother of a Ds child at that time, I knew that it would help Sophia as it had helped me. 

After the weekend retreat, she went home and found that she already had the book "Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul" in her home library. She read "Welcome to Holland" and had the same reaction as I had. She went on to use the story in a speech she will give to a group of ladies on another Christian retreat.

Just a few weeks later, God began laying on my heart the desire to write a book. He assured me of the comfort it would give others, just the way He had and continues to comfort and uplift me and Sophia through things like the story, "Welcome to Holland." He opened the doors for this project, connecting dots to other parents who shared this vision. Everything was coming along grandly until one evening when I read a post by another parent of a child with life challenges. Her post caused me to question this project. I was panicked by a fear that I was trying to make other's pain and heartbreak into a pretty package with a bow on top. Was I travelling down the wrong path? Had I misread God's instructions for me?

I soulfully shared my doubts with several close friends, asking for their advice, and waited for their response. Quickly, emails began shooting back and forth.  Words of encouragement, words of love, and words challenging me to stay on my path.

"Life is about choices," one friend shared. "We all have many pains and struggles. How we look at them and respond to them makes all the difference. I want to find joy and Jesus in my sorrow and struggles ... I want to see with His eyes and become more like Him!"

From another friend, "Everything we go through makes us stronger and better if we go through it with the right attitude and with our eyes in the right place." 

And from my loving husband, "I do not believe for a moment that you are trivializing anything.  What you are writing will inspire families that are looking for hope. Search your heart for direction but listen only for God's promptings."

Then I received a message that gave me the greatest clarity possible, sending chills down my spine. Remarkably, God had connected the dots from three years earlier all the way to that very confusing night. In my doubt and distress, He confirmed for me His blessing on my journey:

"Ever read this before?" my friend asked. You guessed it, the attachment was "Welcome to Holland." Thank you Jesus!

"Welcome to Holland"

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.



Sticks and Stones

We've all heard the old adage, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I'm willing to bet that you heard it either from your mom or from a teacher the first time another child said something mean to you and hurt your feelings.

Sadly, the truth of the matter is that this old saying just ain't true. Words do hurt and, if repeated again and again, over time they can cripple us.



Before the "sticks and stones saying", God inspired Paul and others to write a very different message. 

Ephesians 4:29
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
And Jesus said in the book of Matthew 15:10-11
"And he called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

Recently I was contacted by a friend. She had just read something I had written and the words brought back a flood of memories for her. These were painful memories of being shamed and ridiculed, told that she was "stupid" and "bad". These words were spoken to her when she was just a little girl, but here she was, at the age of 40, still crying about them. Reliving the pain of how those words did indeed "break her bones" by profoundly breaking her spirit. A recent Christian song also shares how significant spoken words can affect our lives. I've shared the song below.

Thankfully, God's love can heal the pain we receive from others words. And, as the song describes, we can use words of love to lift people instead of hurting them. In my friend's message I learned that God is slowly healing her pain. Over time and through developing a loving relationship with Him, reading His word, and allowing Him to comfort and nurture her, she continues to heal. But it is a long and hard process that she wouldn't wish on anyone.

She also shared with me that because of her experiences she is VERY, VERY careful about the words she speaks to others. To her children, she is a mother who relishes in praising them. And to friends, she is the one who always has the kind word and the encouragement that we all need to hear. God has taught her the importance of words and she is following His lead in order to heal her own heart and in order to make sure others don't have to suffer through her same experiences.

Reading her words was eye-opening to me. Her hurt and pain are real. They are a tangible reminder for me to stop and think before speaking. They also reminded me that, for the most part, children's emotions and feelings are the same. Our children with life challenges are just like other children. Although they may look or act a little bit differently (or may not!), they experience emotions, pain, and joy just like anyone else does. Some may not always understand sarcasm or wit, but some may understand it just fine. Some may not read social cues or understand lofty vocabulary. But some may understand and read these situations perfectly. The truth is, it doesn't matter what we perceive that they understand. The way we treat them should not differ from the way we should treat anyone else. Although they may be different on some levels, like all of us, they have the same capacity to feel hurt, shame and fear.
Therefore, our words should always uplift, and never condemn, ridicule or shame. Yes, sometimes children need discipline, ALL children. Yes, sometimes they need redirection. And sometimes they need punishment. But the words we use when we take these actions should always come from love and should be used to teach, not tear down.


We need to teach our children this lesson too. Children are often the cruelest perpetrators. Why, I'm not sure. Have they not been taught compassion or empathy? Are they modeling behavior they have seen in others? Or are they simply in need of being educated? Probably all of the above. And as parents, it's our job to make sure we do teach them compassion and truth, modeling the behavior that Christ modeled for us.


Words CAN break our bones by breaking our hearts and our spirits. They can break our lives if we replay them in our heads like a broken record. Let your words make someone's day, not break someone's heart. Be that unexpected gift and blessing to others, sharing God's love for ALL the little children (and big children) of the world!



I will leave you with some of the many, many Bible verses that share this message of using our words wisely and as  life-affirming for others.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs 18:21

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.
Matthew 12:36

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
Proverbs 16:24

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
Proverbs 13:3

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Proverbs 29:20

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Luke 6:45

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
Colossians 3:16

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

Join Me in a Journey

Over the past thirteen years I have had the honor and joy to be a mom to my children and to truly appreciate what each of them brings into my life and into the lives of others. One special joy has been seeing how God has used my daughter, Sara Ashley. She has opened my eyes to the world around me and has shown me how to accept the challenges that life hands each of us with a smile and a positive attitude. As many of you know, Sara Ashley has dyslexia and ADHD. She was diagnosed when she was only five and because of this early knowledge we have been able to utilize many services to help her strive to reach her full potential. God continues to show me that this potential is limitless. Through God’s work in Sara Ashley, she has made me a better person.

I believe that many people struggle with fear and despair when they see their children or loved ones suffering, struggling or facing daunting challenges. I know that each of us often needs encouragement from our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to try to understand the challenges in our lives.

For that reason, and with the encouragement of my husband and friends, I am in the beginning phases of writing a book that will give glimpses into the unexpected gifts that we receive from these special children or people in our lives. People who have been dealt harsh challenges to their physical, mental or emotional health, but who have taught us that life is about far more than what the world perceives as their limitations.

The purpose of this blog is to chronicle the journey of writing this book and the stories of the people God is placing in my path along the way. Already, I have found many, many kindred souls who, like me, are living with children who face life challenges. And they are hungry and eager to share their stories of hope. All will agree that while the journey certainly has heart ache and pain, joy does come in the morning. That each of our special children brings us blessings in ways that we never expected.

My prayer is also that, through sharing, God’s blessings and gifts will be magnified and He will receive all the glory.

I look forward to sharing this journey with each of you.

Love in Christ,

Christi Estes

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

Fear

We all have it, right? In some form or another every one of us has fear. Fear of heights, fear of public speaking, fear of failure... the list could go on and on.... Fear can be a healthy thing when we use it the right way, but if we let it control us we are not living the life that God intends for us. 

Hebrews, Chapter 13 verses 5 & 6 say:
For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?" 


Sounds good in theory, right? But putting it into action is another thing altogether...

For as long as I can remember, fear has been a part of my life. In my teenage years I suffered from a bout of depression based on my fear of leaving home. I had to come back from college for a year to beat that one. Then a year into my marriage I had another round with fear. This time it was physically debilitating. Anxiety consumed me and I was unable face normal everyday activities for weeks. Thankfully, a loving family and husband helped me through that time. And after several years of cognitive therapy I really thought I had it all figured out. Feed the fear and it will starve you, starve the fear and you will live. But, in truth, I still lived in fear. I handled it much more gracefully, I didn't have panic attacks anymore and nobody else would have ever suspected it, but I still had fear.

These fears that I had would not sound irrational to most people. Fear of disappointing others, fear of not doing everything perfectly, fear that I wasn't who people thought I was, fear for my children, just plain old fear. They were ordinary, everyday kinds of fears, but they kept me from living the life God desired for me. And even though I functioned quite normally, fear was robbing me of my dreams and of the joy in which God meant for me to live.

 

Thankfully, about three years ago, God began to calm my fears. At a Christian retreat I learned about God's all-consuming love for me. I know, I know, I'd heard it a million times. But I had never fully experienced it or connected my head knowledge with my heart. And finally I did! It was at this time that I allowed God to start helping me work through my fears and I began living my life with intention.

I can't say that I'm always successful at it, but I try my best to make choices every day that are not based on avoiding the things that scare me or make me uncomfortable. After all, God uses those things to help us grow! Instead, I try to base my decisions on the most important things that God lays on my heart. And that's where this journey comes in to play.

Five years ago, I would never have had the courage to take this journey. And boy would I have missed a lot of wonderful blessings! From the people I'm meeting, to their stories of hope with their wonderful children. Fear would have prevented it all! I also recognize that my experiences with children and families who face life challenges have increased my courage. To see how they bravely face their circumstances and to see how God is faithful to their needs is an inspiration to me. This strengthens my faith in Him and with strengthening of faith, comes lessening of fear. 


Maybe God is calling you on a journey of your own. Will you answer His call? Don't let fear keep you from following Him. Remember, when you are walking with God in obedience fear goes out the window and courage and faith take its place. 
I promise that you will surely be blessed. But more importantly, you will also be a blessing!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13



Walking by Faith

I woke up this morning like most of the rest of the nation. In disbelief of what happened in Boston yesterday. How can this senseless violence continue to happen in our world? As the old saying goes, why can't we all just learn to get along?

On the way home from taking Sara Ashley to school in Fairburn I heard a song that, once again, brought me to tears. Y'all already know I have a propensity for that and I shouldn't have been surprised at my reaction, but I was. I had been holding it together quite well since I learned of yesterday's bombings. And as I watched the news this morning I maintained my detachment, trying to ward off any emotional attachment to a situation that is truly heartbreaking. Unfortunately, I find that I sometimes become calloused to this world and desensitized to the tragedy it holds. I know it's a defense mechanism and I also know that it's not one that God desires for me. After all, wasn't I the one who just a few weeks ago quoted God's message for me to allow Him to, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours?"

The song I heard finally opened my heart and the flood gates, allowing grief and anger. Gratefully it also allowed comfort. As I listened to it I was reminded of the words of a recent contributor for the book "Unexpected Gifts." When describing her daughter's condition of autism she stated that she found it a "great comfort and gift to know that He can already see the finish line" for her child. The irony of her verbiage was not lost on me and the song I heard this morning was a reminder of this important point.
From Casting Crowns, "Already There":

From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

You are already there

 

So where was God at yesterday's finish line? How can something so tragic happen in His grand plan? Although I don't know the answer to this question, I do know with certainty that this tragedy was not from Him but from the antithesis of His love, and I can most assuredly say that God was at that finish line. He could be seen in the first responders, the policemen, firemen, and military presence that were on hand for the event. The many marathon volunteers and even everyday citizens who came out to support the runners on this Patriot's Day in Boston. He was heard in the voices of the news media who reported the event, sharing their grief for the tragedy and in the posts from friends on FB and other social media sites as they shared their outrage over this evil crime. He was there showing that His loving presence overpowers an evil that can only come from the enemy and that He is our strength in times of trouble. Over the last 17 hours I have heard many talk about finding and seeing the helpers in this tragedy. He was the face of these helpers, their strength found through His Helper that he sent to empower us as Jesus rose to be with Him in heaven. His is their loving and helping hand that desires to save humanity from itself. And thankfully the number of helpers far outweigh the enemy.

So I will choose to walk by faith, even when I cannot see or understand or make sense of this senseless world. I will walk by faith and accept His comfort and love knowing that our struggles will eventually end in a victory called Christian HOPE. A life of eternal praise and worship for a God that sustains us through our trials, and who is a living presence in our lives, comforting us in our grief, leading and inspiring us to help our fellow man in Christian love.

I will walk by faith, and not fear, knowing that God is with us every step of the way.

My prayers are with every person affected by this senseless tragedy and for our nation as we continue to face evil in this world. May each one of us feel God's love, healing and strength.

Jehovah Rapha~ the Lord our Healer

Life is not predictable. Especially yesterday. And I'm glad for it because I would not want another day like yesterday any time soon again.

Yesterday I learned that a precious friend has been diagnosed with cancer. This Godly woman, not yet 30 years old, with two sweet girls under the age of 6 and an adoring husband, has a fight in front of her. And she has so much to live for and so many praying for her and pulling for her!

Most of my day was spent in utter disbelief. How could this happen to such a young, strong, Christian woman? A woman who is devoting her life to God and to teaching children about His love. My mind is screaming with outrage as I try to process this information that is completely UN-processable.

And like the tides of the ocean, just as I think I've reached a place of calm, another wave knocks me down again. Each wave that lead to yesterday's storm a piece of the puzzle becoming as clear as the deep blue sea- the months of illness, the indomitable and joyful spirit that she showed as she pushed her way through planning a recent family wedding despite her pain, the striving to fulfill the duties of a new and demanding job taking her home late many evenings, the sheer exhaustion setting in...and now, this sickness, trying to take over her family, her life...I'm knocked down again. Wounds stinging with the salt and sand of each unrelenting wave.

God's love for her is a comfort to me.
Her love for Him is a comfort to me.
Her steadfast faith for His steadfast love.
He is Reliable.
A Strength in times of trouble.
The One who is always the same.
The waves may toss us, but He is and always will be the great I AM.
Jehova Rapha~ the Lord our Healer.
Truly.

Psalm 46:1-6

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.^[c]

⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

⁸ Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
⁹ He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields^[d] with fire.
¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

¹¹ The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.



Dear friend, we are all praying for you. I love you!

May God continue to hold you in the palm of His hand. And may you feel His overwhelming and comforting love for you through a peace only He can bring.

"Don't fear, because I am with you; don't be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will surely help you; I will hold you with my righteous strong hand."

Isaiah 41:10

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Thanks so much for your prayers and messages yesterday! Sara Ashley woke up at 3 am with a fever of 104. We dosed her with ibuprofen and her fever seems to have broken. I'll be calling the doctor back today. This is the 15th day of school my sweet girl has missed this year and I am not happy with it. I'm going to request to have some blood work done so we can make sure there's not more going on than the obvious.

Yesterday I shared with you some of the complexities of dealing with adhd. You also got a glimpse of the pain and frustration I often feel about this disorder. It's real. I have a love/hate relationship with it.

Today, I have been digging in my archives. I came across this devotion that I wrote a few years ago. The timing was good. I needed to read this again to help me realize that it's not all bad. I thank God for His help in giving me a new perspective and I thank my friends and family for their support when I inevitably experience anger and grief.

It's all about choices. Thankfully, with Him, JOY can come in the morning.

Devotional written 2/2011. God was already preparing my heart for this journey...

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.                                                                 Romans 12:6-8

Sara Ashley 2011

My daughter, a dark haired beauty, has an incredible talent for art, an athletic build for swimming and a heart of gold. She is known for her giving spirit and her sweet nature. She also has the “gifts” of adhd and dyslexia. And ALL of these combined traits make her the wonderful person that she is.

This hasn’t always been so easy for me to profess. And admittedly, I sometimes still have trouble accepting the issues that surround her diagnoses, but, through the grace of God, I have learned to look at the bigger picture and it is mighty big!

During one particularly trying period of time, I begged God to take away her differences and make her “normal”, like most every other child we know. Couldn’t He see that her adhd made it difficult for her to remember things, difficult for her to sit still in her seat and even kept her from being able to concentrate on the daily tasks at hand? Didn’t He know that her dyslexia meant that she had to suffer through endless hours of phonics tutoring, difficulty with reading comprehension and just plain difficulty with reading in general? My mind screamed, “Isn’t this cruel and unusual punishment for a little girl??” My anger would often get the best of me and I would implore for God to “cure” her of these differences that sometimes make life difficult for her.

It was during one of these challenging times that my husband came to me with the words that I needed to hear.

“Honey, all of these things make her who she is. And she is so very special just the way she is.”  A few simple words that made such a tremendous impact on my way of thinking.

The same hyperactivity that makes it difficult for my daughter to sit still in her seat also gives her the energy to endure challenging swim meets. And the same issue that makes it difficult for her to decode words gives her the ability to look at things differently and with a unique and artistic eye.

God has made my daughter wonderfully (Psalm 139:14), His workmanship created her to do good works for Him (Ephesians 2:10). She is not defined by her differences or strengths, rather these combined traits give her the ability to lift, serve and teach others, glorify God and to just be the special person that she is.

May we each remember this about all of our special children!

v  Lord, You are the perfect Creator. Help me to remember the many gifts that you bestow upon each and every one of us. Amen

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139:1-16

All in for HIM

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of wonderful encouragements by God. As I have sought out contributors for the book, "Unexpected Gifts", I have already met many, many people who desire to share stories of the blessings they have received from and through their special kids. These wonderful parents are an inspiration to me and I know that you will be blown away by their stories of hope, encouragement, and the limitless love of God through their circumstances.
Funny how life works. You go years and years without even realizing that an entire population exists and then you reach out in faith and BOOM, the flood gates are opened! Have you ever had this happen to you?

This past week I had the opportunity to share such an occurance at Sunday School. Lewis Jackson, one of my teachers, taught a few classes about how the Holy Spirit works in and through us, speaking to us if we will listen. His lessons were about hearing God's voice, hearing the enemy's voice and how to tell the difference. One great thing about this class is the willingness of people to share their experiences. Lewis asked if anyone wanted to speak and several told inspiring stories. After some hesitation, I also shared that I would be writing a book.

"I know, I know...pie in the sky idea," I told them. "But God layed it on my heart and I HAD to listen and obey." Truth be told, obedience is not always so easy for me but for some reason, this time was different. Maybe it was his recent teachings that encouraged me to follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I certainly knew that this project had the potential to bear fruit. Or maybe it was the encouragement of the my husband and friends. Whatever the reason, I could not say no. Have you ever felt the strength of God's request for you in this way? So powerful, that you just could NOT let it go??

I also shared with them that the minute I began the formal steps of writing the book, I clearly heard the voice of the enemy. I had just hit "Send" on the email to potential contributors when the taunting began.

"You have no idea how to write a book Christi! What in the world do you think you're doing?? You don't have the skills, the brains or the connections. Even if you do write the book, who will publish it? Who will even want to read it?"
Sound familiar? We all hear it sometimes. But this time I recognized it for what it truly was. The enemy. Still, fear clouded my brain and I struggled to stay focused on my assignment from God. 

But guess what? Within a few short hours of hearing these voices of doom and gloom, God showed up in a mighty way, opening doors that I had not even known existed!
Emails from friends and acquaintances wanting to contribute their stories to the book came pouring in. Words of encouragement were shared from people who have their own special kids and KNOW how a book like this can help other parents. And unknown connections with publishers and writers willing to help me edit the stories were offered.

This is not the end of the story. It is only the beginning. Daily, I continue to hear from parents about their special children, their faith in God and their gratefulness in being able to share their stories. This is about a community of believers sharing how God has blessed them through these amazing children. This is about a God that loves us so much that He shows us His gifts when we least expect them. And this is about giving our thanks and praise to HIM.

God is undoubtedly reassuring me this is the journey He wants me to take. Perhaps He has one in mind for you too. You just need to take that next step in FAITH. 
In receiving these confirmations from Him, my resolve to continue has taken full flight.
Hebrews 13:20-21 empowers us telling us, "Now may the God of peace...make you complete in every good work to do His will."
God will equip me for this task, I am certain.
And I'm all in for Him!