Coasting

This morning as I awakened, my mind drifted into a peace that it hasn't felt in eleven days. My children are home! Last night they arrived with the stories of a wonderful vacation shared with their grandparents. Souvenirs were displayed, stories were told, and hugs exchanged. Great. Big. Bear. Hugs!

There is nothing quite as comforting as waking up knowing exactly where your children are- because their heads are lying only feet away from you. Whew...I can breath a little deeper today. Thank you God.

So this morning I am coasting. Happy to have my children in one place, under my own roof. Happy to have a few weeks left of summer to be lazy and carefree. Coasting...

Looking back, I realize that this has been an entire year of coasting for Sara Ashley and her learning differences. Unlike the years leading up to this one, we have had an almost pain-free normal year of school, friendships, extracurricular activities, and academics. Actually, we have had a stellar year. With her award winning essay, Character Award, interest in horseback riding, and several new friendships formed, it has been a groundbreaking year. This coasting thing is becoming very comfortable. And that makes me nervous.

When things are going so right, do you begin to wonder when they will inevitably start going wrong?

This is called fear and it has the power to altar my perspective tremendously. 

Fear is nothing new to me. It's something that I'm not proud of and I work hard every day not to let it control me. But it still rears its ugly head on more occasions than I would like to admit. Faith, courage and love are the antithesis of fear. Upon discovering that this year of coasting is creating fear in my mind, I have begun to pray for faith and courage. Prayer can provide answers. The fruit of my prayer and what God has asked me to remember is found in these verses. 

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11

1 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for 
every event under heaven-

2 A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time 
to uproot what is planted. 

3 A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. 

4 A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.

5 A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. 

6 A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and time to throw away. 

7 A time to tear apart and a time to sew together. A time to be silent and a time to speak.

8 A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace. 

11 He has made everything appropriate in its time.  


This is our time for coasting. 

So today I try to remember to celebrate. This is a wonderful season for my daughter. She is thriving. She is growing and learning. She is happy and beautiful. She is my heart. This is her time. 

Does that mean that tomorrow won't be her time too? I have to erase that fear. Troubles will come, like the changing winds of the seasons. But, like the wind, the Holy Spirit stays with us throughout our seasons. 

Loving us.
Guiding us. 
Empowering us in our journey. 

I am determined! I will not be afraid! I will allow myself to be free to enjoy the seemingly effortless coasting of this glorious season. 

And I will thank God for the fruit.

How about you? Are you coasting these days too? Or perhaps this is a season of storms for you? Let us pray for you. Please leave your comments or Message me so that we can pray for you or celebrate with you during this part of your journey.

Love and Logic



The brain is a mysterious thing. God gave humans a unique brain. Unlike the brains of other living creatures, our brains allow us to use reason and logic, and give us free will. We have dominion over all of the other animals because God granted us a superior brain. (Genesis 1:26)

Logic and reason are powerful tools that we use in our everyday lives. But how we use them is of utmost importance, as I found out about six years ago...

One late summer day when my daughter was six years old my husband called me with some news. The excitement in his voice was undeniable. He shared with me that he had just signed her up for little league football cheerleading. "It will be so fun for her! And she'll look so cute in that cheerleader uniform!" he exclaimed. The eagerness in his voice practically jumped through the phone. "She CAN do this!" he practically yelled.

I was driving at the time and it was all I could do not to pull the car to the side of the road and have a panic attack.

"Cheerleading?!? How in the world do you think she is going to be able to learn all those cheers? Not to mention adding the movements and cute dances to the equation!?!"

My mind inwardly screamed in outrage at the lack of logic and reason that he had exhibited when signing her up for this mistake. I was practically in tears just thinking about how it was all going to play out. Just a year earlier, Sara Ashley had been diagnosed with an expressive language disability. Word-finding and memorization were her biggest weaknesses. Surely this was setting her up for complete failure!

But my husband would not be swayed. "We need to let her give it a try," he insisted. Despite my strong reservations, I conceded.

Cheerleading started in early August. The practices were hot and long. The coach was a former professional cheerleader with little tolerance for the antics of six year old girls. But as the practices progressed and I watched my daughter, I was amazed. Although she did have some trouble remembering the words to the cheers, she learned the routines with ease. She blended seamlessly with the squad and had a great season of cheerleading! My husband was every bit the proud daddy! And, despite my initial reservations, I was a very proud mama too.

The abilities of my daughter in this circumstance defy all logic and reason. The previous school year, she had been unable to learn her complete alphabet and hadn't been able to count past eleven. How was it possible that she was successfully performing cheers and dance routines?

Logic and reason are certainly gifts from God. But, as humans, we are still not capable of fully understanding what God can and will do in our lives if we give Him the chance. If we allow logic and reason to dictate our willingness to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit, we are not using these gifts the way God intended. And, as my husband taught me, if we use them to limit our potential or the potential of those around us, we are misusing them altogether.

When Joshua walked around Jericho seven times blowing his trumpets in order to overtake the city, was he using logic and reason? When the young and small David declared that he would fight the giant Goliath and even shed the armor provided to him by Saul, what kind of logic was that? When Peter stepped out of the boat to walk on the water towards Jesus, there was no reason or logic involved. These men were not making their decisions based on wordly logic. They were acting in faith and obedience to God and their heart's desire to follow Him.

Recently a friend told me about her five year old son's learning disability. Somehow his brain has associated letters with numbers. If asked what the letter "F" is, he taps his leg six times (as F is the sixth letter in the alphabet) and comes up with the answer "6." The logic of his brain is amazing and interesting to me. He is sure to be magnificently creative! But I am certain that it is very frustrating to his mother at this point. Trying to teach him to read has become a task akin to beating her head against a brick wall. Her aspirations for his future are limited to the abilities that she can currently see. She is not alone. I have heard this from the parents of many LD kids.

Looking back now at my own daughter at the age of five I can totally relate. My hopes for her were also limited and I was very fearful of what her future would hold. When we are faced with a brain that defies the logic and reason that we can understand, it scares us. We long for our children to succeed and to thrive in this world that operates by a strict standard of norms. But as I look at my daughter now, and all that she has overcome, I can speak with authority when I say that we must reach beyond our own comfort of human logic and reason to allow our children the opportunities to reach their full potential. The only way we can do this is to listen to God's promptings and, with His guidance, step out in faith. 

God's will for our lives is to look to Him for direction. His love for us is enough to give us peace in our circumstances, whether they make worldly sense or not. Our decisions should not be based solely on logic and reason, but on our heart's desire to follow Him.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Ephesians 3:20 The Message

Gut Feelings and Crooked Paths

Have you ever just known something with clarity in your heart and soul? In our daily life circumstances we often call it a hunch. In the business world we might call it a gut feeling. As a mother, we call it mother's intuition. And as a Christian we know that it is a nudging from the Holy Spirit.

Seven years ago I experienced a nudging that felt like this:

Something was just not quite right. Something was wrong. My perfect and beautiful daughter wasn’t learning at the same pace that her older brother had and I was concerned. I reasoned with myself that he was quite a bright child, very verbal from an early age with a memory like an elephant. So maybe this was “normal”? But my mind would not let my heart settle on that. Something was just not quite right.

My sister, a kindergarten teacher of 10 years, administered a battery of little “tests” each time we went out to eat. What color is this, Sara Ashley? How many gummy bears do you see? And if we take one away, how many are left? Sometimes Sara Ashley would answer correctly, sometimes she would stare blankly at her aunt like she didn’t have a clue what she was talking about, and sometimes she would simply be too busy with other things to care. So…where did this leave me?

My inquisitive, very active and not so verbal child was different; different from her brother, different from most of her peers, different from me. But was she really that different or was I just a mom with an overactive imagination looking for problems that weren’t really there? I shared my thoughts and fears with my husband, Rob. A free spirit himself, he saw no flaws in his daughter’s development and found her to be just like him. So I tried not to worry.

In hindsight, my first recommendation to anyone who wonders these questions is to trust your maternal instincts. Even if you are wrong, what could you possibly lose by exploring the issue (except money)? And it might actually be a tremendous help to your child. I can certainly say this has been the case for our daughter.

Maybe you have had your own "knowing" moments as a mother. Most of us have in one way or another. From instictively knowing what your baby likes and dislikes before they can even speak to knowing that something is wrong, a mother's intuition is a powerful thing and I recommend not ignoring it.

In the case of learning disabilities, I strongly encourage anyone who has a gut feeling that something is wrong with their child to explore the issue. A good starting point is to consult with your child's pediatrician and teachers.

It has been proven time and time again that early intervention is the key to success for kids with LDs, yet many continue to think that their child is just a "late bloomer" or will eventually "grow out of it." Sadly, during this valuable waiting time, the child is falling further and further behind and he or she often comes to the point of feeling hopeless and stupid, when really they just need help to figure out how their brain works best.   

University of Houston neuropsychologist Jack Fletcher heads the Texas Center for Learning Disabilities and says,

"Even though we talk constantly about the importance of early intervention, that message just continues to get lost and diluted in its translation. Every piece of research I know says that kids who are not reading at grade level by the end of first grade are at very high risk for a learning disability."

With my daughter, even her teachers didn't realize that there was an issue until it became a very obvious problem for her academically. Thankfully, by that time, my husband and I had already taken the steps necessary to start getting her help.

So how do you know if your child might need help? Here are some red flags that might indicate a learning disability in children five and under: 

• Delayed speech
• Pronunciation problems
• Difficulty learning new words
• Difficulty learning to read
• Trouble learning numbers, the alphabet, days of the week, or colors and shapes
• Poor concentration
• Difficulty following directions
• Poor grasp of a crayon or pen
• Difficulty with buttoning, zipping, and tying
• Family history of learning disabiilities

Being a parent is hard but rewarding work. Our children depend on us to be their protectors and advocates in a world that is increasingly dangerous and oblivious to the needs of others. Early intervention is key in helping our kids with learning disabilities. This early intervention can help prevent years of playing catch up, suffering from frustration, low self-esteem and even depression.

Diagnosis and knowledge are the answers. If you can name it, you can address it. And shame should never even enter the picture. Children with learning disabilities usually have normal or above normal intelligence, but they have trouble expressing their knowledge. An LD child may know just what he wants to accomplish- to say or write or do- but getting there isn't a straight path.

Just remember, crooked paths are ok! Although they are often the road less taken, they can bring their own unexpected gifts of beautiful scenery along the way. But first you must take the steps to embark on the journey!

Connecting the Dots

It began about three years ago. Bear with me, it's a long story, but I think it's a good one.

I was reading "Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul" in bed one night and came upon a story entitled "Welcome to Holland." Considering what we were experiencing with Sara Ashley, the story was very relevant to me and I found that it gave me a greater perspective of our circumstances. I also copied it and sent it to a young couple who was expecting a child with Down Syndrome, hoping it would help them too. It would be a few years, but in His time I would find out God's plan to use this story again, connecting the dots in my life to the lives of others and to His purposes for me.



Fast forward three years to this January. In an earlier post about a little girl named Emery Claire, I told you about spending time in a chapel with her grandmother, Sophia. We shared our experiences with our children, our fears and struggles, but also our joys and triumphs. And she told me about this precious little granddaughter of hers who is bringing such joy to their lives. I was also prompted to share with her the story I had read three years before, "Welcome to Holland." At the time, I simply felt that I was sharing out of my knowledge. I would soon find out that I was sharing from a prompting by the Holy Spirit. Although I didn't realize that this story was written by a mother of a Ds child at that time, I knew that it would help Sophia as it had helped me. 

After the weekend retreat, she went home and found that she already had the book "Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul" in her home library. She read "Welcome to Holland" and had the same reaction as I had. She went on to use the story in a speech she will give to a group of ladies on another Christian retreat.

Just a few weeks later, God began laying on my heart the desire to write a book. He assured me of the comfort it would give others, just the way He had and continues to comfort and uplift me and Sophia through things like the story, "Welcome to Holland." He opened the doors for this project, connecting dots to other parents who shared this vision. Everything was coming along grandly until one evening when I read a post by another parent of a child with life challenges. Her post caused me to question this project. I was panicked by a fear that I was trying to make other's pain and heartbreak into a pretty package with a bow on top. Was I travelling down the wrong path? Had I misread God's instructions for me?

I soulfully shared my doubts with several close friends, asking for their advice, and waited for their response. Quickly, emails began shooting back and forth.  Words of encouragement, words of love, and words challenging me to stay on my path.

"Life is about choices," one friend shared. "We all have many pains and struggles. How we look at them and respond to them makes all the difference. I want to find joy and Jesus in my sorrow and struggles ... I want to see with His eyes and become more like Him!"

From another friend, "Everything we go through makes us stronger and better if we go through it with the right attitude and with our eyes in the right place." 

And from my loving husband, "I do not believe for a moment that you are trivializing anything.  What you are writing will inspire families that are looking for hope. Search your heart for direction but listen only for God's promptings."

Then I received a message that gave me the greatest clarity possible, sending chills down my spine. Remarkably, God had connected the dots from three years earlier all the way to that very confusing night. In my doubt and distress, He confirmed for me His blessing on my journey:

"Ever read this before?" my friend asked. You guessed it, the attachment was "Welcome to Holland." Thank you Jesus!

"Welcome to Holland"

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.



The Great Debate

Despite what you will read here, my son Robert brings great joy to me! He is a handsome young man with a passion for airsoft, picking (aka collecting junk), trivia and The Walking Dead. He is also the KING of debating! He began this at a very early age. I've often wondered how he acquired this skill as he seems to have come out of the womb with it. Only just recently did I realize that just maybe he learned a little bit of it from me. ;)

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.

1 John 5:3

My son is a great debater. He seems to have been born with this talent as he has been using it against me since he was all of 2 years old.

“Put your clothes up Robert,” I tell him.

“But Mom, I’m not going upstairs until later, can I just do it then?” he’ll challenge. “And why put them up anyway?” he asks. “I’m going to wear them tomorrow?”

And on it goes. I ask, he scoffs. I demand, he argues. I beg, he pleads his case. I must admit, he comes up with some pretty good reasons why things should be done his way and not mine. Sometimes it even makes me stop and think, maybe he’s right?  And then I remember, hey, I’m the parent here and he’s the child! He should obey me- not question what I say.

My handsome debator

Does this sound familiar to you? After thinking about it for awhile it began to sound way too familiar to me! Me? A debater? Well…maybe the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Here’s how it all too often goes…God asks me to do something that doesn’t fit into my perfectly planned day and I argue, “But my schedule is tight. I don’t have time to have a conversation with that person.”  Or  “It’s not on my to do list to stop by and speak to that friend, even though we haven’t talked two in weeks!” 

And I implore, “How can You expect me to accomplish all of the things on my list and still find time to do these things too?”



Recently, I found myself at the paint store. As usual, I was in a hurry, multi-tasking and trying to meet a deadline. I walked in to pick up some samples while talking on the phone to a client and noticed a local painter friend sitting at a table.

“Hi.” I mouthed. And he quietly returned my greeting. After talking on the phone for several minutes while collecting my samples I was ready to head out the door.

“Stop and talk with him”, I suddenly heard in my head. “But I’m in a hurry!” I argued. “I have a list a mile long that I MUST complete and…well…OK…” and I turned to speak.

While I can’t say that the world’s problems were solved from our conversation, it was so nice to simply catch up with him for awhile. He is a godly man and even offered me some advice that I found very comforting and timely. And I received this blessing only because I listened to the Spirit's nudgings and obeyed.  I have to wonder, how many more blessings might befall me or others if we just listen to God instead of arguing with Him?

I know that my son and I will continue our debating for many years. I truly think that one day this skill will be helpful to him. Maybe we have a future prosecutor on our hands? But as for me, my arguing days are dwindling as I listen and try to follow God’s nudging to seek and obey His will and direction for my life.

God, please help me to slow down and listen for your promptings and to remember, Your ways, not mine. Amen

But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”
Luke 11:28

Walking by Faith

I woke up this morning like most of the rest of the nation. In disbelief of what happened in Boston yesterday. How can this senseless violence continue to happen in our world? As the old saying goes, why can't we all just learn to get along?

On the way home from taking Sara Ashley to school in Fairburn I heard a song that, once again, brought me to tears. Y'all already know I have a propensity for that and I shouldn't have been surprised at my reaction, but I was. I had been holding it together quite well since I learned of yesterday's bombings. And as I watched the news this morning I maintained my detachment, trying to ward off any emotional attachment to a situation that is truly heartbreaking. Unfortunately, I find that I sometimes become calloused to this world and desensitized to the tragedy it holds. I know it's a defense mechanism and I also know that it's not one that God desires for me. After all, wasn't I the one who just a few weeks ago quoted God's message for me to allow Him to, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours?"

The song I heard finally opened my heart and the flood gates, allowing grief and anger. Gratefully it also allowed comfort. As I listened to it I was reminded of the words of a recent contributor for the book "Unexpected Gifts." When describing her daughter's condition of autism she stated that she found it a "great comfort and gift to know that He can already see the finish line" for her child. The irony of her verbiage was not lost on me and the song I heard this morning was a reminder of this important point.
From Casting Crowns, "Already There":

From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

You are already there

 

So where was God at yesterday's finish line? How can something so tragic happen in His grand plan? Although I don't know the answer to this question, I do know with certainty that this tragedy was not from Him but from the antithesis of His love, and I can most assuredly say that God was at that finish line. He could be seen in the first responders, the policemen, firemen, and military presence that were on hand for the event. The many marathon volunteers and even everyday citizens who came out to support the runners on this Patriot's Day in Boston. He was heard in the voices of the news media who reported the event, sharing their grief for the tragedy and in the posts from friends on FB and other social media sites as they shared their outrage over this evil crime. He was there showing that His loving presence overpowers an evil that can only come from the enemy and that He is our strength in times of trouble. Over the last 17 hours I have heard many talk about finding and seeing the helpers in this tragedy. He was the face of these helpers, their strength found through His Helper that he sent to empower us as Jesus rose to be with Him in heaven. His is their loving and helping hand that desires to save humanity from itself. And thankfully the number of helpers far outweigh the enemy.

So I will choose to walk by faith, even when I cannot see or understand or make sense of this senseless world. I will walk by faith and accept His comfort and love knowing that our struggles will eventually end in a victory called Christian HOPE. A life of eternal praise and worship for a God that sustains us through our trials, and who is a living presence in our lives, comforting us in our grief, leading and inspiring us to help our fellow man in Christian love.

I will walk by faith, and not fear, knowing that God is with us every step of the way.

My prayers are with every person affected by this senseless tragedy and for our nation as we continue to face evil in this world. May each one of us feel God's love, healing and strength.

All in for HIM

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of wonderful encouragements by God. As I have sought out contributors for the book, "Unexpected Gifts", I have already met many, many people who desire to share stories of the blessings they have received from and through their special kids. These wonderful parents are an inspiration to me and I know that you will be blown away by their stories of hope, encouragement, and the limitless love of God through their circumstances.
Funny how life works. You go years and years without even realizing that an entire population exists and then you reach out in faith and BOOM, the flood gates are opened! Have you ever had this happen to you?

This past week I had the opportunity to share such an occurance at Sunday School. Lewis Jackson, one of my teachers, taught a few classes about how the Holy Spirit works in and through us, speaking to us if we will listen. His lessons were about hearing God's voice, hearing the enemy's voice and how to tell the difference. One great thing about this class is the willingness of people to share their experiences. Lewis asked if anyone wanted to speak and several told inspiring stories. After some hesitation, I also shared that I would be writing a book.

"I know, I know...pie in the sky idea," I told them. "But God layed it on my heart and I HAD to listen and obey." Truth be told, obedience is not always so easy for me but for some reason, this time was different. Maybe it was his recent teachings that encouraged me to follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I certainly knew that this project had the potential to bear fruit. Or maybe it was the encouragement of the my husband and friends. Whatever the reason, I could not say no. Have you ever felt the strength of God's request for you in this way? So powerful, that you just could NOT let it go??

I also shared with them that the minute I began the formal steps of writing the book, I clearly heard the voice of the enemy. I had just hit "Send" on the email to potential contributors when the taunting began.

"You have no idea how to write a book Christi! What in the world do you think you're doing?? You don't have the skills, the brains or the connections. Even if you do write the book, who will publish it? Who will even want to read it?"
Sound familiar? We all hear it sometimes. But this time I recognized it for what it truly was. The enemy. Still, fear clouded my brain and I struggled to stay focused on my assignment from God. 

But guess what? Within a few short hours of hearing these voices of doom and gloom, God showed up in a mighty way, opening doors that I had not even known existed!
Emails from friends and acquaintances wanting to contribute their stories to the book came pouring in. Words of encouragement were shared from people who have their own special kids and KNOW how a book like this can help other parents. And unknown connections with publishers and writers willing to help me edit the stories were offered.

This is not the end of the story. It is only the beginning. Daily, I continue to hear from parents about their special children, their faith in God and their gratefulness in being able to share their stories. This is about a community of believers sharing how God has blessed them through these amazing children. This is about a God that loves us so much that He shows us His gifts when we least expect them. And this is about giving our thanks and praise to HIM.

God is undoubtedly reassuring me this is the journey He wants me to take. Perhaps He has one in mind for you too. You just need to take that next step in FAITH. 
In receiving these confirmations from Him, my resolve to continue has taken full flight.
Hebrews 13:20-21 empowers us telling us, "Now may the God of peace...make you complete in every good work to do His will."
God will equip me for this task, I am certain.
And I'm all in for Him!