Love and Logic



The brain is a mysterious thing. God gave humans a unique brain. Unlike the brains of other living creatures, our brains allow us to use reason and logic, and give us free will. We have dominion over all of the other animals because God granted us a superior brain. (Genesis 1:26)

Logic and reason are powerful tools that we use in our everyday lives. But how we use them is of utmost importance, as I found out about six years ago...

One late summer day when my daughter was six years old my husband called me with some news. The excitement in his voice was undeniable. He shared with me that he had just signed her up for little league football cheerleading. "It will be so fun for her! And she'll look so cute in that cheerleader uniform!" he exclaimed. The eagerness in his voice practically jumped through the phone. "She CAN do this!" he practically yelled.

I was driving at the time and it was all I could do not to pull the car to the side of the road and have a panic attack.

"Cheerleading?!? How in the world do you think she is going to be able to learn all those cheers? Not to mention adding the movements and cute dances to the equation!?!"

My mind inwardly screamed in outrage at the lack of logic and reason that he had exhibited when signing her up for this mistake. I was practically in tears just thinking about how it was all going to play out. Just a year earlier, Sara Ashley had been diagnosed with an expressive language disability. Word-finding and memorization were her biggest weaknesses. Surely this was setting her up for complete failure!

But my husband would not be swayed. "We need to let her give it a try," he insisted. Despite my strong reservations, I conceded.

Cheerleading started in early August. The practices were hot and long. The coach was a former professional cheerleader with little tolerance for the antics of six year old girls. But as the practices progressed and I watched my daughter, I was amazed. Although she did have some trouble remembering the words to the cheers, she learned the routines with ease. She blended seamlessly with the squad and had a great season of cheerleading! My husband was every bit the proud daddy! And, despite my initial reservations, I was a very proud mama too.

The abilities of my daughter in this circumstance defy all logic and reason. The previous school year, she had been unable to learn her complete alphabet and hadn't been able to count past eleven. How was it possible that she was successfully performing cheers and dance routines?

Logic and reason are certainly gifts from God. But, as humans, we are still not capable of fully understanding what God can and will do in our lives if we give Him the chance. If we allow logic and reason to dictate our willingness to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit, we are not using these gifts the way God intended. And, as my husband taught me, if we use them to limit our potential or the potential of those around us, we are misusing them altogether.

When Joshua walked around Jericho seven times blowing his trumpets in order to overtake the city, was he using logic and reason? When the young and small David declared that he would fight the giant Goliath and even shed the armor provided to him by Saul, what kind of logic was that? When Peter stepped out of the boat to walk on the water towards Jesus, there was no reason or logic involved. These men were not making their decisions based on wordly logic. They were acting in faith and obedience to God and their heart's desire to follow Him.

Recently a friend told me about her five year old son's learning disability. Somehow his brain has associated letters with numbers. If asked what the letter "F" is, he taps his leg six times (as F is the sixth letter in the alphabet) and comes up with the answer "6." The logic of his brain is amazing and interesting to me. He is sure to be magnificently creative! But I am certain that it is very frustrating to his mother at this point. Trying to teach him to read has become a task akin to beating her head against a brick wall. Her aspirations for his future are limited to the abilities that she can currently see. She is not alone. I have heard this from the parents of many LD kids.

Looking back now at my own daughter at the age of five I can totally relate. My hopes for her were also limited and I was very fearful of what her future would hold. When we are faced with a brain that defies the logic and reason that we can understand, it scares us. We long for our children to succeed and to thrive in this world that operates by a strict standard of norms. But as I look at my daughter now, and all that she has overcome, I can speak with authority when I say that we must reach beyond our own comfort of human logic and reason to allow our children the opportunities to reach their full potential. The only way we can do this is to listen to God's promptings and, with His guidance, step out in faith. 

God's will for our lives is to look to Him for direction. His love for us is enough to give us peace in our circumstances, whether they make worldly sense or not. Our decisions should not be based solely on logic and reason, but on our heart's desire to follow Him.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Ephesians 3:20 The Message

Knocking on the Door

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Matthew 7:7-8

These were my daughter's preschool attempts at humor. Not very successful to the average listener, but they did make my heart smile.

However, all was not happy during that period of time. It seemed that everywhere around me, doors were closing in my face and, seemingly, in my daughter's future. That year, as Sara Ashley was completing kindergarten, my husband and I met with her school's special education team for our year-end meeting. This was a dream team of professionals who were working their hardest to meet our child's needs. But there was no denying the test results that stared me in the face that morning. In black and white I read the words:

Does not meet the requirements necessary to be promoted to the first grade.

"Knock knock," Sara Ashley called from the back seat of the car.
"Who's there?" I replied.
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Banana robot!" 
She squealed with laughter as I smiled in amused confusion.

These were my daughter's preschool attempts at humor. Not very successful to the average listener (like her older brother), but they did make my heart smile.

However, all was not happy during that period of time. It seemed that everywhere around me, doors were closing in my face and in my daughter's future. That year, as Sara Ashley was completing kindergarten, my husband and I met with her school's special education team for our year-end meeting. This was a dream team of professionals who were working their hardest to meet our child's needs. But there was no denying the tests results that stared me in the face that morning. In black and white I read the words:

Does not meet the requirements necessary to be promoted to the first grade.

All around me, for a period of two or three years, I found doors closing:

Matthew 7:7-8

"Knock knock," Sara Ashley called from the back seat of the car.

"Who's there?" I answered.

"Banana"

"Banana who?"

"Banana robot!"
She squealed with laughter as I smiled in amused confusion.

These were my daughter's preschool attempts at humor. Not very successful to the average listener, but they did make my heart smile.

However, all was not happy during that period of time. It seemed that everywhere around me, doors were closing in my face and, seemingly, in my daughter's future. That year, as Sara Ashley was completing kindergarten, my husband and I met with her school's special education team for our year-end meeting. This was a dream team of professionals who were working their hardest to meet our child's needs. But there was no denying the test results that stared me in the face that morning. In black and white I read the words:

Does not meet the requirements necessary to be promoted to the first grade.

All around me, for a period of two or three years, I found doors closing:

•  At Mommy and me in the library it was too hard for her to sit still and listen- slam!
• Ballet and Tap Lessons found her running around the room to the beat of her own drum- slam!
• Shopping at the local mall left me frantically searching for her as she hid in the clothing turn stiles- slam!
• And now the school that we had counted on to teach her was not able to meet her needs- SLAM!

Denise faced similar challenges with her son who has the condition of Asperger's syndrome. Although the doctors and her son's preschool teachers did not recognize the severity of her son's struggles, she knew something was drastically wrong. So the obsessive research began. Hours and hours of research that took her away from nurturing her young daughter, from keeping up with her other responsibilities, and from being the balanced person that she needed to be. Denise shares a particular closing moment from this period in her past. A family vacation. As she and her husband packed, she remembers with clarity his pleading demand.

"We need you to be part of our family Denise. No books or research about childhood illnesses while we are on our trip!" 
SLAM!

Does God open and close doors in our lives? Were these "slamming doors" God's will?


My answer is a resounding- I'm not sure. I am certainly not a theologian, but here is what I do know:

• Whatever our circumstances, whether we feel persecuted or encouraged, whether we see doors as open or closed, God is with us to comfort and love us. If we seek Him, we will find Him. Matthew 7:7-8, Matthew 28:20

• Whatever our circumstances, whether we feel persecuted or encouraged, whether we see doors as open or closed, God is with us to comfort and love us. If we seek Him, we will find Him. Matthew 7:7-8, Matthew 28:20

• God's purposes cannot be thwarted. If God wants something to happen, it will. If that means pushing us forward in a trajectory that leaves us kicking and screaming in protest, so be it. A better response would be to settle in and watch what He's going to do, knowing that His purposes in our lives are for our good and His glory. Job 42:2, Jeremiah 29:11

• Clarity comes later, faith comes now. Although we may not understand our current situation, we must have faith that God's purposes are greater than our current situation's pain or sorrow. Looking to the Bible can give us this clarity. How often, when we read the account of Jesus dying on the cross, do we stop and wonder why God allowed him to endure such pain? But as we read on, it is made abundantly clear that God's purposes were for our own redemption because of His love for us. And that Jesus sits magnificently on the throne at His right hand, in glory. Remembering His faithfulness to us in the past can give us faith to realize that our current circumstances are only temporary.

Despite my knowledge of these three things, when I find myself in the midst of fear for my child, my human reaction can be quite...well, human. The verse in Matthew 7 makes it sound so simple. "Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you." I can assure you that during that period of time I was knocking, but it wasn't on God's door. Instead I knocked on other doors during the early years of our struggles. I knocked on the doors of doctors, specialists, teachers, other parents, and professionals who I thought would hold the answers to my daughter's differences. At the time, my logic in this type of seeking was: What could God possibly tell me that these professionals didn't already know? Hadn't He equipped them with knowledge as part of His divine plan? Couldn't I just bypass that personal "seeking" part? What I learned was: While nothing is wrong with seeking the help of experts and professionals, they can never take the place of praying to God for direction first. 

So I tried. Really. really. hard. To find the "answers" to help my daughter. I tried until I was all tried out. I was defeated. Finally, at my wit's end, I sought Him. I prayed.

God, what is your will for my daughter's life?

Although I did not get immediate answers or see the skies part and hear a thundering voice from above, over time I began to understand. God's ways are not our ways. What did not make sense to me in the here and now over time began to make sense. I can look back now and understand the guiding hand of God. Without the failings of one school situation, we would not have been led to find another school which has proven to be one of the biggest blessings in our lives. And without being forced to try new and different hobbies and outlets, Sara Ashley may never have found her true passions of horseback riding, art, and the outdoors.

And although I can admit that some things will never make sense, my faith and trust has grown as I have continued to seek God through prayer and personal relationship. I have seen God support me and our child in her circumstances. So now, when I don't understand, I still trust in His innate goodness and His promise that He will never leave or forsake me(Deuteronomy 31:8). I trust that it is His desire to give each of us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

Looking back now, Denise also sees that God's plans for her son's life, as well as her own, were for her good. In leaving behind her obsession with researching her son's disability, she found a renewed relationship with her daughter, a new doctor who skillfully guides her family on how to help their son, and a new calling in a large church production that gives God glory.

These days, I am still confusingly amused by my daughter at times. Don't we all feel that way about our kids now and then? Thankfully, with God in charge, I don't have to understand everything. I simply have to seek Him and know that His guiding hand is leading the way.

Matthew 7:7-8

"Knock knock," Sara Ashley called from the back seat of the car.

"Who's there?" I answered.

"Banana"

"Banana who?"

"Banana robot!"
She squealed with laughter as I smiled in amused confusion.

These were my daughter's preschool attempts at humor. Not very successful to the average listener, but they did make my heart smile.

However, all was not happy during that period of time. It seemed that everywhere around me, doors were closing in my face and, seemingly, in my daughter's future. That year, as Sara Ashley was completing kindergarten, my husband and I met with her school's special education team for our year-end meeting. This was a dream team of professionals who were working their hardest to meet our child's needs. But there was no denying the test results that stared me in the face that morning. In black and white I read the words:

Does not meet the requirements necessary to be promoted to the first grade.

All around me, for a period of two or three years, I found doors closing:

• 
  

Speaking "through your heart"

The other night as I put my daughter to bed, she shared with me some of the events of her day. At age eleven, I am always excited when she decides to share because this age has brought with it her need to keep some secrets from me - like crushes, girl-talk, basically social issues - but that night she wanted to share. She told me that as she had been playing with someone that day she became frustrated with his behavior. The child was a good deal younger than her and was obviously struggling with wanting to be the center of attention. How he got that attention- by doing good things or bad- didn't seem to matter to him.

"I told him, through my heart," SA said, "that he was being mean and that he needed to share and not be ugly to me and his sister."

"Through her heart", I thought. What an interesting concept. She filtered what she had said through her heart so that it wouldn't sting and so that it would come from love rather than frustration and anger. I absolutely loved her choice of words! She was also spot on with her thinking. If we would all just filter our thoughts and actions "through our heart" before acting on them, this world would be a much better place.



I have often found that children offer profound thoughts. This seems to come from their innocence and the purity of their intentions. God's intentions for the children of this world are far more than we might expect, and this especially includes children who face life challenges. So many times in the bible we come to verses that illustrate this fact.

But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 19:14

 
Earlier the same day that my daughter shared her thoughts with me, I received an email from a friend. A blog was attached. It shared the journey of Christian man named John Knight who works for John Piper. Knight has a disabled son who, although 18 years old, operates at the intellectual level of an 18 month old. Despite his son's disabilities, the young man loves to sing praises to the Lord. This sometimes happens in grocery stores and public settings where others will hear him. John shares that when his son sings he is acting as a spiritual warrior against Satan and glorifying God. Although John's son is not what this world would call "strong", he is strongly valuable to God! Here is what John shared:

Out of the mouth of babies and infants, you have established strength because of your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger. (Psalm 8:2)

John states: So if this is the case, and I believe it is, my weak and disabled son — with all his limitations — is part of God’s plan to still the enemy and the avenger. And that makes him an effective warrior against a vile and spiritually violent enemy, equipped by God to do what those who are strong and proud cannot do, no matter their physical or intellectual giftings. (Reference to 1 Corinthians 1:27-29)
John's son sings "through his heart" to a world who needs to hear God's love and he quiets the enemy by sharing this Love.



For Bobby, another child I will be writing about in the future, spoken word is not necessarily his gift, but his actions speak much louder than words. Bobby has autism and his verbal abilities are limited. Despite these limitations, Bobby still finds ways to effectively express himself. As he interacts with the world, Bobby has the viewpoint that everyone is his friend. His father, Doug, shares that when Bobby experiences kindness from people or simply feels a need to express his love for them, he shares his emotions freely by giving them a huge bear hug. His most recent recipient was the "cookie lady" at Publix. These gestures of physical kindess are received unexpectedly and, usually, very warmly by others who recognize that, "through his heart", Bobby is sharing the pure love of our Creator.

These are just a few examples of how God shows His glory through our special children. From them and others, I have learned that we should never underestimate His ability to use us in ways that we least expect.



18th century Woodcutting showing Christ healing the disabled.

In John 9 we learn of a boy who was born blind. Assuming that his afflictions were the result of sin, the disciples asked Jesus, "Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus' answer was this: “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do” (The Message).

Isn't it just like us to want to blame someone for our perceived weaknesses? Instead, Jesus tells us to stop right there - there is no one to blame! Instead, let's look at what God can do with what the world calls weak! Infinitely more than we might ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). God can turn our pain into pleasure, our trials into triumph, and our struggles into strengths. Only He can take our weaknesses and, "through His heart," turn them into something truly beautiful and lovely, allowing those we would least expect to bring the gift of glory to Him.

WHY???

This last weekend left me with some time on my hands and I used it to read a book that's been on my list for weeks. Seems when you are writing a book it's not easy to find the time to read other books. :) But I'm glad I took the time to read this one!

The title of the book is Why? Trusting God When You Don't Understand, and it is written by Billy Graham's daughter, Anne Graham Lotz with a foreword by Joni Earickson Tada, the quadriplegic Christian artist, writer, and founder of Joni and Friends International Disability Center in Agoura Hills, California.

 

The topic of the book is obvious and it's a question that I've feared someone will ask me when I speak about children living with life challenges. I fear it because I am doubtful that I can answer it in a way that will be satisfying to someone who is in the depths of pain, anger and fear. The answers are plentiful and are backed by scripture, but they are not always what we want to hear and I've even heard them called "irritating platitudes". However, I did once find myself in a dark place, asking "Why?". And I did find the answers through friends who taught me about a God whose love and comfort provide peace in all circumstance. So although my fear sometimes rares its ugly head, I am trusting God to help me through it by studying material about this subject and by studying scripture. My hope is that one day I can introduce God's love to someone who is also trying to understand "WHY?".

I found that this book gave an abundance of great information about this age-old question and I want to share it with all of you. Here are some of the best take-aways:

1) God is bigger than our suffering. We can have hope as we place our trust in Him- in His faithfulness and in His ability to work out in our lives His purposes that will be for our ultimate good and His eternal glory.

2) Faith that triumphantly soars is possible only when the winds of life are contrary to personal comfort. That kind of faith is His ultimate purpose in allowing us to encounter storms of suffering. Trust Him!

3) Pain and suffering is so immediate and can seem so permanent that we can easily lose sight of the big picture. The pain can be so crushing and our hearts can be so broken that we just don't understand why! Why me? Whenever that question tends to fill my mind, I hear Him whisper to my heart, "Why not you? Just trust Me!"

4) If God were small enough for us to understand, He would not be big enough to save us.

5) While God doesn't always protect those He loves from suffering or answer our prayers the way we ask Him to, He does promise in His word that He will be present with us in the midst of our suffering and pain.

6) And finally...the quote that spoke very loudly to me as I travel through this journey:

Joy also in this-

that your sufferings, your losses and your persecutions

shall make you a platform from which

the more vigorously and with greater power

you shall witness to Christ Jesus.

- C.H. Spurgeon

Morning and Evening

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is struggling or feeling persecuted. Finding God in our circumstances, understanding His love for us and how He desires to develop a trusting relationship with us transcends us from the question of "Why?" to the answer of "WHO."

God loves us. To Him we give all the glory!





Connecting the Dots

It began about three years ago. Bear with me, it's a long story, but I think it's a good one.

I was reading "Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul" in bed one night and came upon a story entitled "Welcome to Holland." Considering what we were experiencing with Sara Ashley, the story was very relevant to me and I found that it gave me a greater perspective of our circumstances. I also copied it and sent it to a young couple who was expecting a child with Down Syndrome, hoping it would help them too. It would be a few years, but in His time I would find out God's plan to use this story again, connecting the dots in my life to the lives of others and to His purposes for me.



Fast forward three years to this January. In an earlier post about a little girl named Emery Claire, I told you about spending time in a chapel with her grandmother, Sophia. We shared our experiences with our children, our fears and struggles, but also our joys and triumphs. And she told me about this precious little granddaughter of hers who is bringing such joy to their lives. I was also prompted to share with her the story I had read three years before, "Welcome to Holland." At the time, I simply felt that I was sharing out of my knowledge. I would soon find out that I was sharing from a prompting by the Holy Spirit. Although I didn't realize that this story was written by a mother of a Ds child at that time, I knew that it would help Sophia as it had helped me. 

After the weekend retreat, she went home and found that she already had the book "Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul" in her home library. She read "Welcome to Holland" and had the same reaction as I had. She went on to use the story in a speech she will give to a group of ladies on another Christian retreat.

Just a few weeks later, God began laying on my heart the desire to write a book. He assured me of the comfort it would give others, just the way He had and continues to comfort and uplift me and Sophia through things like the story, "Welcome to Holland." He opened the doors for this project, connecting dots to other parents who shared this vision. Everything was coming along grandly until one evening when I read a post by another parent of a child with life challenges. Her post caused me to question this project. I was panicked by a fear that I was trying to make other's pain and heartbreak into a pretty package with a bow on top. Was I travelling down the wrong path? Had I misread God's instructions for me?

I soulfully shared my doubts with several close friends, asking for their advice, and waited for their response. Quickly, emails began shooting back and forth.  Words of encouragement, words of love, and words challenging me to stay on my path.

"Life is about choices," one friend shared. "We all have many pains and struggles. How we look at them and respond to them makes all the difference. I want to find joy and Jesus in my sorrow and struggles ... I want to see with His eyes and become more like Him!"

From another friend, "Everything we go through makes us stronger and better if we go through it with the right attitude and with our eyes in the right place." 

And from my loving husband, "I do not believe for a moment that you are trivializing anything.  What you are writing will inspire families that are looking for hope. Search your heart for direction but listen only for God's promptings."

Then I received a message that gave me the greatest clarity possible, sending chills down my spine. Remarkably, God had connected the dots from three years earlier all the way to that very confusing night. In my doubt and distress, He confirmed for me His blessing on my journey:

"Ever read this before?" my friend asked. You guessed it, the attachment was "Welcome to Holland." Thank you Jesus!

"Welcome to Holland"

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.



The Great Debate

Despite what you will read here, my son Robert brings great joy to me! He is a handsome young man with a passion for airsoft, picking (aka collecting junk), trivia and The Walking Dead. He is also the KING of debating! He began this at a very early age. I've often wondered how he acquired this skill as he seems to have come out of the womb with it. Only just recently did I realize that just maybe he learned a little bit of it from me. ;)

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.

1 John 5:3

My son is a great debater. He seems to have been born with this talent as he has been using it against me since he was all of 2 years old.

“Put your clothes up Robert,” I tell him.

“But Mom, I’m not going upstairs until later, can I just do it then?” he’ll challenge. “And why put them up anyway?” he asks. “I’m going to wear them tomorrow?”

And on it goes. I ask, he scoffs. I demand, he argues. I beg, he pleads his case. I must admit, he comes up with some pretty good reasons why things should be done his way and not mine. Sometimes it even makes me stop and think, maybe he’s right?  And then I remember, hey, I’m the parent here and he’s the child! He should obey me- not question what I say.

My handsome debator

Does this sound familiar to you? After thinking about it for awhile it began to sound way too familiar to me! Me? A debater? Well…maybe the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Here’s how it all too often goes…God asks me to do something that doesn’t fit into my perfectly planned day and I argue, “But my schedule is tight. I don’t have time to have a conversation with that person.”  Or  “It’s not on my to do list to stop by and speak to that friend, even though we haven’t talked two in weeks!” 

And I implore, “How can You expect me to accomplish all of the things on my list and still find time to do these things too?”



Recently, I found myself at the paint store. As usual, I was in a hurry, multi-tasking and trying to meet a deadline. I walked in to pick up some samples while talking on the phone to a client and noticed a local painter friend sitting at a table.

“Hi.” I mouthed. And he quietly returned my greeting. After talking on the phone for several minutes while collecting my samples I was ready to head out the door.

“Stop and talk with him”, I suddenly heard in my head. “But I’m in a hurry!” I argued. “I have a list a mile long that I MUST complete and…well…OK…” and I turned to speak.

While I can’t say that the world’s problems were solved from our conversation, it was so nice to simply catch up with him for awhile. He is a godly man and even offered me some advice that I found very comforting and timely. And I received this blessing only because I listened to the Spirit's nudgings and obeyed.  I have to wonder, how many more blessings might befall me or others if we just listen to God instead of arguing with Him?

I know that my son and I will continue our debating for many years. I truly think that one day this skill will be helpful to him. Maybe we have a future prosecutor on our hands? But as for me, my arguing days are dwindling as I listen and try to follow God’s nudging to seek and obey His will and direction for my life.

God, please help me to slow down and listen for your promptings and to remember, Your ways, not mine. Amen

But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”
Luke 11:28

Fear

We all have it, right? In some form or another every one of us has fear. Fear of heights, fear of public speaking, fear of failure... the list could go on and on.... Fear can be a healthy thing when we use it the right way, but if we let it control us we are not living the life that God intends for us. 

Hebrews, Chapter 13 verses 5 & 6 say:
For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?" 


Sounds good in theory, right? But putting it into action is another thing altogether...

For as long as I can remember, fear has been a part of my life. In my teenage years I suffered from a bout of depression based on my fear of leaving home. I had to come back from college for a year to beat that one. Then a year into my marriage I had another round with fear. This time it was physically debilitating. Anxiety consumed me and I was unable face normal everyday activities for weeks. Thankfully, a loving family and husband helped me through that time. And after several years of cognitive therapy I really thought I had it all figured out. Feed the fear and it will starve you, starve the fear and you will live. But, in truth, I still lived in fear. I handled it much more gracefully, I didn't have panic attacks anymore and nobody else would have ever suspected it, but I still had fear.

These fears that I had would not sound irrational to most people. Fear of disappointing others, fear of not doing everything perfectly, fear that I wasn't who people thought I was, fear for my children, just plain old fear. They were ordinary, everyday kinds of fears, but they kept me from living the life God desired for me. And even though I functioned quite normally, fear was robbing me of my dreams and of the joy in which God meant for me to live.

 

Thankfully, about three years ago, God began to calm my fears. At a Christian retreat I learned about God's all-consuming love for me. I know, I know, I'd heard it a million times. But I had never fully experienced it or connected my head knowledge with my heart. And finally I did! It was at this time that I allowed God to start helping me work through my fears and I began living my life with intention.

I can't say that I'm always successful at it, but I try my best to make choices every day that are not based on avoiding the things that scare me or make me uncomfortable. After all, God uses those things to help us grow! Instead, I try to base my decisions on the most important things that God lays on my heart. And that's where this journey comes in to play.

Five years ago, I would never have had the courage to take this journey. And boy would I have missed a lot of wonderful blessings! From the people I'm meeting, to their stories of hope with their wonderful children. Fear would have prevented it all! I also recognize that my experiences with children and families who face life challenges have increased my courage. To see how they bravely face their circumstances and to see how God is faithful to their needs is an inspiration to me. This strengthens my faith in Him and with strengthening of faith, comes lessening of fear. 


Maybe God is calling you on a journey of your own. Will you answer His call? Don't let fear keep you from following Him. Remember, when you are walking with God in obedience fear goes out the window and courage and faith take its place. 
I promise that you will surely be blessed. But more importantly, you will also be a blessing!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13



Meet Brooks!

Meet Brooks! He is an active first grader who loves to read, sing and perform. As Brooks' mom, Jennifer, tells it, "I am absolutely amazed by his zest for life! It is so fun being Brooks' Mom. It's almost like he realizes deep inside of him somewhere just how fragile life is and, therefore, relishes every minute of it."

Brooks Leebern


Brooks was born 15 weeks prematurely. Due to his early arrival, he is legally blind, has mild cerebral palsy and growth issues. But these challenges do little to slow him down. His curiosity of the world recently led him to request a telescope so that he could see the moon for the first time.

"How many of us, me included, don't stop to think about what a treasure it is just to be able to gaze at the moon on any given night? He had a joyful fit when he saw it!" Jennifer shares. "Brooks has taught me to find the beauty in all things, big or small, and to never take life for granted."



Brooks has also played a pivotal role in his Mom's relationship with Christ, illuminating her path back to Him. And with this strengthened faith, she looks to God to carry her through the struggles she encounters when Brooks faces challenges, knowing that she can lean on Him.
Although his vision is clouded with darkness, for Brooks' friends and family,  he is a shining light of God's love. And Jennifer feels strongly that God has given her family this special child with the duty of glorifying Him. She desires to share her son's story with others, including what God has done through him to change her own life and faith journey. She shares with the hope that it will help them as they face their own personal trials and darkness.   

Finding gratefulness in their situation is the key that has given their family a transformed perspective. This perspective helps them through their journey with their son. "Always look for the silver lining. Always recognize the good things that our children are and that they do. Don't focus on what they can't do," she imparts. "And always be their advocate and let them know every day that they are special and perfect in your eyes!"

Lord, thank you for Brooks. His life is a light unto Your path and a gift from You. The joy in his life, despite his trials and challenges, is Your blessing to him and his family. We praise You for him!


Read more about Brooks in "Unexpected Gifts."

Where Do You Find Your Pleasure?

There once was a girl who sought all of her pleasure and fulfillment in her accomplishments. From the earliest times she could remember she was always seeking approval. At the tender age of 7 she got up early one morning to scrub the floors like "Cinderella" hoping to gain her parent's praise, only to be told not to scrub too hard lest she would scrub the pattern off the linoleum. She was crushed, but not beaten. She continued on this path through her school days seeking to gain accolades from her academics and dance teachers and anywhere else she could find it. And she was often successful. She was a gifted learner and dancer earning lead roles in recitals and awards for her scholarly success. How did she feel, you ask? She felt good at the moment of success, but that soon faded and then the striving started all over again.

Approval was like a drug to her. She sought it out wherever she could find it. Working to please, striving to gain. But, strangely, with each new achievement, her confidence did not grow. It simply sought more and more praise. Finally, the fear set in. That it would never be enough. There would never be enough praise, enough worldly gain to satisfy her need for approval. And life took on a hazy cast that caused disappointment, depression, anxiety, and loneliness. There has to be more, she thought.  But what?

If you haven't figured it out yet, that girl is me. And I know that I am not alone in this story. Sadly, many of us readily fall into this trap. The world tells us that the more we accomplish and the more we gain, the happier we will be. Well, I'm here to tell you, it's a lie. No amount of fame, fortune, glory or money will ever completely fulfill you.

Have you ever heard the expression "God shaped void"? This is what I had- a God shaped void in my spirit that could never be filled with worldly gain. Praise didn't fill it. Awards were not the right shape. And money left the void empty too. Only God could fill that void.

Paul tells us in Philippians 3:7-9
"Whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him..."

Slowly, through the journey of my life, God began to fill my void. He did it gently and with love. Easing me into a new life, helping me overcome my fears and filling my void with His presence. He showed me that I am loved just for who I am, not for what I do or what I accomplish. He allowed me to rest my body and my mind. He lovingly cradled me like a child and allowed me to rest in Him. He also opened my eyes to the important things. Not the trophies, the big salary, the second home and the praises of man. These things feel good at the time, but there is no lasting peace or pleasure in them. He showed me that only through Him and His Son, Jesus Christ, could I find true fulfillment.

It is so easy for me to backslide in this crazy world of ours. But daily, if I am in tune with Him, He continues to show me the farce of seeking worldly praise. His love is unconditional, not based on worldly ways. This need for receiving accolades by man is hard work. We humans are very fickle creatures! Man's love is conditional and selfish.

One of the main ways He has shown me the lie of seeking worldy gain and approval is through my special child and other special children around me. Though many of these kids aren't listed on their school honor roll, aren't the fastest runners or the kids who receive the most awards, they are each winners in God's eyes. No one can tell me that my daughter's best efforts in reading don't mean as much just because she doesn't score at a high-ranking reading level or that the loving hug from a Ds child is any less meaningful than winning a state-championship. These acts and accomplishments, though not often recognized by an award, are just as meaningful to God as the biggest prize known to man. And if they are done in obedience to God or in honor of Him, they are more meaningful than any worldly accomplishment.



God puts life into perspective for us one day at a time. Will we be open to receiving His direction? Seeking to be the "least of these" instead of the first in line? Will we realize that striving for worldly success is NOT what life is all about? Only if we do this will we be able to fill that God-shaped void, allowing Him to bless us with the unexpected but promised gift of His all-consuming love.

Way to Go SA!

This past school year has been a special one for our daughter Sara Ashley, who we lovingly call "SA". Last fall she was given the opportunity to write an essay telling about why her school was the best school for her. This was part of a contest sponsored by the Center for an Educated Georgia, an organization promoting school choice.

Sara Ashley wrote the essay last May. She dictated the words to me and I typed it up and submitted it. I honestly thought little about it until July 1st (the deadline of announcing the winner) came and went. "Oh well," I thought. "Guess she didn't win." But just as our hopes were dashed, we received a phone call on July 9th with the good news. She was the state winner for her age group! Wow! What an honor for Sara Ashley and what an honor for her school, The Bedford School, where Sara Ashley attends.

As I have said before, this school is one of the biggest blessings in our lives. And as you will read below, she feels the same way. The administration, the teachers and the student body have definitely been some of those unexpected gifts that we never counted on finding through this experience. I can truly say that we are all better people for what we are encountering there. They have nurtured and instructed Sara Ashley in ways that are allowing her to reach her full potential and we are so very grateful.

I thought you all might enjoy reading Sara Ashley's winning essay so I have posted it below. I'm a proud mama! :)You can also count on reading more about Sara Ashley and our family's story in the upcoming book, "Unexpected Gifts, God's Blessings for and through Children Facing Life Challenges."

Blessings for a great week!!

Why My School is the Best Choice for Me
By: Sara Ashley Estes, Fifth Grader at The Bedford School, Fairburn, GA

My school is the best school for me because it helps me learn my best. I have adhd and dyslexia. I was diagnosed when I was in kindergarten and I began attending my school, The Bedford School, the summer after kindergarten at their camp called Squirrel Hollow.

The first time I went to Squirrel Hollow I was very nervous. I had trouble learning at my other school because I didn’t understand the instructions. When I got to Squirrel Hollow and met my teachers they made me feel comfortable and they taught me in different ways so that I could understand.

I started First Grade at The Bedford School with three other students in my class. If I did not understand something my teachers would explain it in many different ways until I got it. For example, if I didn’t understand a math problem they would tell me, just use your fingers or the number line in the classroom. They would sit next to me and help me count. And when I got it, I smiled and so did the teacher. I went from being able to count to only 10 to 100 within two weeks!!

In reading, I started out knowing less than ten words and could only write one sentence which was, “I like to play!” Now I write B5S (Basic five sentences) and 328 (3 subjects, 2 sentences for each subject, 8 sentences in all) paragraphs and read chapter books. I have read over 3 chapter books this school year. While I still struggle to read, I am in a smaller reading class so that the teacher can work closer with me on my reading skills. I am on grade level with my reading! I am so proud of how far I have gotten!

                                                                                                                                     

We also use the computer to help us with our learning. When we finish our assignment we are allowed to play a computer game as a reward. This game also helps us with our learning. Or we can watch Brain Pop which is a video that will help you learn about different subjects. These are fun activities that help me remember my lessons like multiplication, pronouns and Pi.

I am now going into the Fifth Grade at The Bedford School and I am all the way up to Geometry in Math. I have gone through an amazing life at my school. My school makes me feel at home. All the kids are included in games and in group activities. This year I participated in Intramural Basketball where we won a trophy in a tournament against other schools. It is on display at our school. I feel proud when I see it! I was also in the school play, “Les Miserable” and my picture was in the newspaper. I made a 3.6 grade point average for the year and received a Citizenship Award.

The Bedford School is the best school I could ever ask for!