I Understand the Leash

My husband and I were seated on the patio area of a restaurant recently when I overheard the comments. 

"Look at that! I can't believe someone would do that to their own child!!"

I looked around to see the topic of her indignation. A mother with a toddler. The source of disbelief was the leash that was strapped to the child and held by his mother. It had a harness at one end that attached to the child's torso in a comfortable fashion. On the other end his mother hung on tightly. 

I looked around. All about me I saw the traffic of a busy intersection. There were hundreds of people moving to and fro. Other restaurants lined the street with open air seating. Shops also lined the street, complete with clothing racks and other places perfect for hiding.Time turned backward in my mind to December of 2003.

Going to the mall to see Santa is an annual tradition for our family. We've been doing it since my son's first Christmas and we haven't missed a single year. The kids are always excited about our yearly trek.We start the evening by eating at our favorite Italian restaurant located next door to the mall and then we move into the mall in search of the line to see Santa. But December 2003 almost put a stop to this long-held tradition.

That year, after we had filled our bellies with ravioli, maniccotti, and lasagna, we ventured into the mall and found Santa's line to be a mile-long. The kids were only five and three, so instead of standing in the long line we decided to do some shopping first and then come back to see if it had shortened. 

My husband, who doesn't get an opportunity to Christmas shop very much, asked if he could wander off alone and try to buy some surprises. Anticipating that these surprises might just be for me, I happily obliged. 

This was my first mistake of the evening. I didn't realize how difficult holding on to two children alone in a mall was going to be (especially since one was a hyperactive and impulsive three year old with undiagnosed ADHD). Perhaps I should have realized this would be a problem based on my experience of taking her to the grocery store. But the mood was merry and I had no worries except what my dear husband might be purchasing to put under the tree.

No sooner was Rob out of sight than Sara Ashley darted across the mall and into a clothing store, hiding in one of the round clothing racks. As I frantically screamed her name, looking for her, Robert walked in the opposite direction headed to the nearest candy machine. After retrieving him, I was finally able to find Sara Ashley, only to have her run away from me again. This happened at least four more times within the next 45 minutes, and all the while she giggled at this game she had created. My description of this game: Scare Mommy to death and make her very angry in the process.

After 45 minutes of this, with Rob still no where in sight (where was he???), I finally found my daughter (again!) and grabbed her arm, holding on for dear life. The line for Santa had shortened slightly and I thought if we could just get in it, maybe she would place her focus on sitting in Santa's lap and not on hiding from me. But not one minute later I felt my arm jerk as she tried to dart away again. This time, I instinctively jerked her back to me- hard. As I turned to angrily explain to her that she could NOT run away again, I noticed that she was holding her arm (the one I had jerked) in a very unnatural position. 

Oh my Lord, have I broken my child's arm??? I crumbled. I did everything I could not to cry in front of my kids. Where in the world was my husband?? HELP!!!

A few minutes later, Rob finally showed up, shopping bags in hand. Turns out this man who has a keen sense of direction when outdoors, gets totally lost when inside a mall. He had shopped for 30 minutes and then it had taken him 30 more minutes to find us. (Even today, he still gets lost in this mall?!) So here I stood, with Robert on one side of me and Sara Ashley on the other, close to tears. 

"Look at her arm Rob! She can't lift it. I think I've broken her arm!"

Rob looked and agreed that something was definitely wrong. We stepped out of line and headed to the closest ER, only minutes away. Unfortunately, Sara Ashley had also busted her lip at school that day while playing on the playground. As we checked into the ER, we were greeted by two employees who took each of us to different areas of the hospital and questioned us about what had happened to her. I was SURE we were going to be charged with abuse and taken to the nearest jail cell. 

After the nurse who was examining Sara Ashley had convinced me that I had, indeed, broken my child's arm and I was in hysterics, the doctor came in. His examination was quick, and with a pop of his wrist, her arm was back to normal- fully functional. 

"She had nursemaid's elbow," he told me. "It can happen pretty easily. Be careful. Once it happens one time, it can easily happen again." And off he went.

Needless to say, I have never been so relieved in my life. We left the hospital and headed home without seeing Santa and with my husband vowing never to go back to the mall again. A week later my sister went back with me and we finally got that year's coveted picture with Santa (see above). Thankfully, by the next December, my husband agreed to go back and the tradition continues. We can now look back on this experience with laughter and have shared it often with Sara Ashley and Robert who don't remember it at all (thank goodness!).

As I sat and watched this mother holding the leash, I thought to myself, I completely and totally understand this leash that she has attached to her child. Like our heavenly Father who desires to protect us when we go to Him, a parent desires to protect their child. How can we fault someone for that? 

When a child is impulsive and hyperactive despite discipline, lacking normal reasoning skills and an understanding of danger, when a parent is working their hardest to teach their child obedience and respect but has to work within these differences, a leash is not a cruel tool. It is the protection of a loving parent. 

Whoever goes to the Lord for safety,whoever remains under the protection of the Almighty,
2 can say to him,
    “You are my defender and protector.
    You are my God; in you I trust.”

Psalm 91:1-2
Parenting is hard, especially in a fish bowl. Do you have a leash experience? Or maybe just a time when, because of your child's differences, you chose a different path than others that caused judgement?

Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, Down in my Heart!

Dear Mommy, Daddy and of course...Bert!

I miss y'all sooooo much but that's not gonna stop me from having a lot of FUN! I have friends too!

I love y'all! 

Having a great time! SA

Summer Camp. I remember it with such fondness. Meeting new friends, camp fires, hokey songs, cafeteria food, and the outdoor adventures. Even the bad parts hold fond memories: scorpians in my shoes, a homesick friend, bug spray, and not wanting to leave when Mom and Dad came to pick me up. Seems like camp is just a typical rite of passage for most kids.

But for kids with invisible disabilities, camp can be a scary place. Both for the kid and for their parents. Counselors who are often young and don't understand the nuances of our children's differences, as well as cruel judgement by peers are valid concerns for families of these children. It is important to research the camps and their philosophies before sending our kids off on this summer adventure.

This year, I treaded slowly and carefully into the camp waters. After speaking to several friends who have sent their own girls to this particular camp, I began to feel a level of comfort about letting Sara Ashley go. Then, as I read the medication dispensement instructions, I felt even better. Blister packs were required (no possible mix ups) and medications were given by a nurse each morning and evening. Finally, after receiving a very detailed questionnaire asking me about my child's personality, likes, dislikes, and pretty much anything else that I could possibly impart to them about her, my comfort level went from a 5 to a 9. This camp truly seemed to care about my child and her ability to have a positive experience!

After these findings eased my mind, together Sara Ashley and I made the decision for her to go to camp. She was both excited and apprehensive. Making preparations for the week brought an intentional process. Although the camp suggested packing in several small duffel bags, I knew that this was a recipe for disaster for my child. I could visualize clothing from both bags scattered all over the floor of her room as she searched for that perfect shirt she wanted to wear. Instead, I packed her in one large and very organized suitcase. Once opened, everything could be seen at a glance. We reviewed everything in the case and how it was to be used, stored and discarded until we picked her up. We talked about the logistics of taking her medicines, the use for each toiletry item, and every other detail I could think of to prepare her for her week. Although she seemed exasperated with my demand that she slow down long enough to listen to this information, I know that in the long run it was helpful to her.

For the first time ever, I dropped her off into her dorm without having a long conversation with the staff about her ADHD and dyslexia. This transition is due,  in part, to her age, and to the preparatory efforts of the camp. As SA matures, I am beginning to rely on her to voice her own needs and reveal her own differences if she feels that she needs to do this. In the past, I don't think she was mature or verbal enough to advocate for herself. This is a scary but necessary step for us.

Despite the comfort level that I had attained prior to camp, I did worry. As each evening approached, I worried about her ability to fall asleep. This is often hard for her active mind and body. Each morning, I awoke to concerns about her ability to make friends who would accept her for who she is (wonderful, energetic and playful!!). And each day I prayed for her well-being, both physically and mentally.

By the end of the week, I was very ready to see my sweet girl! Arriving at camp, she quickly introduced me to her new friends. I was overjoyed to see that they sincerely liked Sara Ashley. I was also thrilled to hear from some of her counselors who told me of her positive attitude and sweet nature. 

Driving home, I asked Sara Ashley if she had shared her learning differences with her new friends. Not that she needed to, but my curiosity just got the best of me. This is what she said:

"They asked me why I was so wild. I told them that I have ADHD," she shared. "They told me they were so sorry for asking." This she said with a bit of amusement in her voice and a cute smile.
"I told them, 'No, it's OK! It's part of who I am, and it doesn't bother me at all!'"

Thank you Lord, for this child who accepts herself just the way she is. I know that she will face future challenges that may cause her to doubt her self-worth, but for this moment in time, I am thankful. May you continue to use her to teach me and humble me. Because of your works in her life, and in mine, I've got the JOY down in my heart. . .to stay!

Sticks and Stones

We've all heard the old adage, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I'm willing to bet that you heard it either from your mom or from a teacher the first time another child said something mean to you and hurt your feelings.

Sadly, the truth of the matter is that this old saying just ain't true. Words do hurt and, if repeated again and again, over time they can cripple us.



Before the "sticks and stones saying", God inspired Paul and others to write a very different message. 

Ephesians 4:29
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
And Jesus said in the book of Matthew 15:10-11
"And he called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

Recently I was contacted by a friend. She had just read something I had written and the words brought back a flood of memories for her. These were painful memories of being shamed and ridiculed, told that she was "stupid" and "bad". These words were spoken to her when she was just a little girl, but here she was, at the age of 40, still crying about them. Reliving the pain of how those words did indeed "break her bones" by profoundly breaking her spirit. A recent Christian song also shares how significant spoken words can affect our lives. I've shared the song below.

Thankfully, God's love can heal the pain we receive from others words. And, as the song describes, we can use words of love to lift people instead of hurting them. In my friend's message I learned that God is slowly healing her pain. Over time and through developing a loving relationship with Him, reading His word, and allowing Him to comfort and nurture her, she continues to heal. But it is a long and hard process that she wouldn't wish on anyone.

She also shared with me that because of her experiences she is VERY, VERY careful about the words she speaks to others. To her children, she is a mother who relishes in praising them. And to friends, she is the one who always has the kind word and the encouragement that we all need to hear. God has taught her the importance of words and she is following His lead in order to heal her own heart and in order to make sure others don't have to suffer through her same experiences.

Reading her words was eye-opening to me. Her hurt and pain are real. They are a tangible reminder for me to stop and think before speaking. They also reminded me that, for the most part, children's emotions and feelings are the same. Our children with life challenges are just like other children. Although they may look or act a little bit differently (or may not!), they experience emotions, pain, and joy just like anyone else does. Some may not always understand sarcasm or wit, but some may understand it just fine. Some may not read social cues or understand lofty vocabulary. But some may understand and read these situations perfectly. The truth is, it doesn't matter what we perceive that they understand. The way we treat them should not differ from the way we should treat anyone else. Although they may be different on some levels, like all of us, they have the same capacity to feel hurt, shame and fear.
Therefore, our words should always uplift, and never condemn, ridicule or shame. Yes, sometimes children need discipline, ALL children. Yes, sometimes they need redirection. And sometimes they need punishment. But the words we use when we take these actions should always come from love and should be used to teach, not tear down.


We need to teach our children this lesson too. Children are often the cruelest perpetrators. Why, I'm not sure. Have they not been taught compassion or empathy? Are they modeling behavior they have seen in others? Or are they simply in need of being educated? Probably all of the above. And as parents, it's our job to make sure we do teach them compassion and truth, modeling the behavior that Christ modeled for us.


Words CAN break our bones by breaking our hearts and our spirits. They can break our lives if we replay them in our heads like a broken record. Let your words make someone's day, not break someone's heart. Be that unexpected gift and blessing to others, sharing God's love for ALL the little children (and big children) of the world!



I will leave you with some of the many, many Bible verses that share this message of using our words wisely and as  life-affirming for others.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs 18:21

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.
Matthew 12:36

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
Proverbs 16:24

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
Proverbs 13:3

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Proverbs 29:20

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Luke 6:45

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
Colossians 3:16

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

Join Me in a Journey

Over the past thirteen years I have had the honor and joy to be a mom to my children and to truly appreciate what each of them brings into my life and into the lives of others. One special joy has been seeing how God has used my daughter, Sara Ashley. She has opened my eyes to the world around me and has shown me how to accept the challenges that life hands each of us with a smile and a positive attitude. As many of you know, Sara Ashley has dyslexia and ADHD. She was diagnosed when she was only five and because of this early knowledge we have been able to utilize many services to help her strive to reach her full potential. God continues to show me that this potential is limitless. Through God’s work in Sara Ashley, she has made me a better person.

I believe that many people struggle with fear and despair when they see their children or loved ones suffering, struggling or facing daunting challenges. I know that each of us often needs encouragement from our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to try to understand the challenges in our lives.

For that reason, and with the encouragement of my husband and friends, I am in the beginning phases of writing a book that will give glimpses into the unexpected gifts that we receive from these special children or people in our lives. People who have been dealt harsh challenges to their physical, mental or emotional health, but who have taught us that life is about far more than what the world perceives as their limitations.

The purpose of this blog is to chronicle the journey of writing this book and the stories of the people God is placing in my path along the way. Already, I have found many, many kindred souls who, like me, are living with children who face life challenges. And they are hungry and eager to share their stories of hope. All will agree that while the journey certainly has heart ache and pain, joy does come in the morning. That each of our special children brings us blessings in ways that we never expected.

My prayer is also that, through sharing, God’s blessings and gifts will be magnified and He will receive all the glory.

I look forward to sharing this journey with each of you.

Love in Christ,

Christi Estes

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

Georgia Special Needs Scholarship

This January 31st I had the unique opportunity to deliver a speech on the stairs of the Georgia State Capitol. This was an exciting yet terrifying experience as I faced a crowd of 2000 plus parents, kids and educators all there celebrating National School Choice Week.

Despite the crowds, I felt an overwhelming sense of God's presence. He was with me that day to calm my fears and help me deliver helpful words to many who are looking for educational solutions for their children.



Specifically, I spoke about the Georgia Special Needs
Scholarship. Since many reading this blog have your own special kids, I want to make sure you know about this innovative law that give students with disabilities more educational choices.

The Georgia Special Needs Scholarship was passed in the Georgia legislature five years ago, exactly when we were looking for a school choice for Sara Ashley. It is no surprise to me that God blessed us in that way! Under the Georgia Special Needs Scholarship, parents may choose to send their child with diagnosed disabilities (and with an IEP) to another public or charter school within their county or to a participating private school in the state that will best serve their child's needs.



Most importantly for many, the law provides those who choose private school financial help to offset tuition. The average award per student is $5,917.00 per year (public schools in Georgia spend on average $7,976.00 per year per student).

Our son, a gifted learner, thrives in the public school system and we are very grateful for the education he receives. My husband and I are also products of public school and we support them fully. But we have found that one size does not fit all. With the large volume of students in our public schools it is nearly impossible for even the best teachers to maximize each student's potential. Therefore, we choose to utilize the GSNS in order to send our daughter to The Bedford School, a school for children with learning disabilities. Instead of sending her to a school that was not able to meet her needs (despite everyone's best efforts) we send her to a school that has teachers trained specifically to help children with learning differences.  This school has the latest techniques and technology to help these kids learn their best. The Georgia Special Needs Scholarship has played an integral part in our ability to send Sara Ashley to her school and she is thriving.



As I shared in the speech I had the honor of giving on behalf of my daughter: 

This is what a child's life can be like when they receive the educational options that they need.

This is what parents can expect when they exercise choice and find the school that best meets their child's needs. We can send our kids to a school that serves their strengths and weaknesses, helps them reach their full potential, prepares them to be successful and productive citizens, and encourages them to help others along the way as they have been helped.

Why would we choose anything less for our
children?

For more information about the Georgia Special Needs Scholarship go to http://www.doe.k12.ga.us/External-Affairs-and-Policy/Policy/Pages/Special-Needs-Scholarship-Program.aspx.

Way to Go SA!

This past school year has been a special one for our daughter Sara Ashley, who we lovingly call "SA". Last fall she was given the opportunity to write an essay telling about why her school was the best school for her. This was part of a contest sponsored by the Center for an Educated Georgia, an organization promoting school choice.

Sara Ashley wrote the essay last May. She dictated the words to me and I typed it up and submitted it. I honestly thought little about it until July 1st (the deadline of announcing the winner) came and went. "Oh well," I thought. "Guess she didn't win." But just as our hopes were dashed, we received a phone call on July 9th with the good news. She was the state winner for her age group! Wow! What an honor for Sara Ashley and what an honor for her school, The Bedford School, where Sara Ashley attends.

As I have said before, this school is one of the biggest blessings in our lives. And as you will read below, she feels the same way. The administration, the teachers and the student body have definitely been some of those unexpected gifts that we never counted on finding through this experience. I can truly say that we are all better people for what we are encountering there. They have nurtured and instructed Sara Ashley in ways that are allowing her to reach her full potential and we are so very grateful.

I thought you all might enjoy reading Sara Ashley's winning essay so I have posted it below. I'm a proud mama! :)You can also count on reading more about Sara Ashley and our family's story in the upcoming book, "Unexpected Gifts, God's Blessings for and through Children Facing Life Challenges."

Blessings for a great week!!

Why My School is the Best Choice for Me
By: Sara Ashley Estes, Fifth Grader at The Bedford School, Fairburn, GA

My school is the best school for me because it helps me learn my best. I have adhd and dyslexia. I was diagnosed when I was in kindergarten and I began attending my school, The Bedford School, the summer after kindergarten at their camp called Squirrel Hollow.

The first time I went to Squirrel Hollow I was very nervous. I had trouble learning at my other school because I didn’t understand the instructions. When I got to Squirrel Hollow and met my teachers they made me feel comfortable and they taught me in different ways so that I could understand.

I started First Grade at The Bedford School with three other students in my class. If I did not understand something my teachers would explain it in many different ways until I got it. For example, if I didn’t understand a math problem they would tell me, just use your fingers or the number line in the classroom. They would sit next to me and help me count. And when I got it, I smiled and so did the teacher. I went from being able to count to only 10 to 100 within two weeks!!

In reading, I started out knowing less than ten words and could only write one sentence which was, “I like to play!” Now I write B5S (Basic five sentences) and 328 (3 subjects, 2 sentences for each subject, 8 sentences in all) paragraphs and read chapter books. I have read over 3 chapter books this school year. While I still struggle to read, I am in a smaller reading class so that the teacher can work closer with me on my reading skills. I am on grade level with my reading! I am so proud of how far I have gotten!

                                                                                                                                     

We also use the computer to help us with our learning. When we finish our assignment we are allowed to play a computer game as a reward. This game also helps us with our learning. Or we can watch Brain Pop which is a video that will help you learn about different subjects. These are fun activities that help me remember my lessons like multiplication, pronouns and Pi.

I am now going into the Fifth Grade at The Bedford School and I am all the way up to Geometry in Math. I have gone through an amazing life at my school. My school makes me feel at home. All the kids are included in games and in group activities. This year I participated in Intramural Basketball where we won a trophy in a tournament against other schools. It is on display at our school. I feel proud when I see it! I was also in the school play, “Les Miserable” and my picture was in the newspaper. I made a 3.6 grade point average for the year and received a Citizenship Award.

The Bedford School is the best school I could ever ask for!             



Perspective

I am not a morning person. No, REALLY, I'm not (ask my husband!). So one morning a couple of weeks ago, when the cat came traipsing over me with her plaintive "meow" 45 minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off, I was irritated. Angel had not gotten the memo. See, Sara Ashley had been sick the day before and I knew she wasn't going to school that morning so I (gleefully) set my alarm clock for 45 minutes later than I usually get up. But, obviously, I forgot to tell the cat.
As I laid there trying to get in the extra sleep time, Angel continued her march, back and forth over me and my husband, meowing and crying for her breakfast along the way. And I was really, really starting to get mad when I remembered this cartoon:

Instead of getting mad, I began to smile, the corners of my mouth turning up instinctively. And as the mind often does, my thoughts began to wander from one thing to the next when I realized, with awe, that God had given my cat Angel an internal time clock that was better than my digital one. "Wake up!" She cried. "I'm hungry!" So I swung my legs over the side of the bed, grinned and started my day.

Life continually gives us these jarring "wake up" moments. And like my situation that morning, it is up to us to choose how we will react to them. We can choose anger. We can choose grief and fear. We can get lost in these choices and walk around bitter and mad. While it is not wrong to have these emotions, to be consumed with them is also not the way to live our lives. When we are suffering with the weight of life, taking these emotions to God can help us find His comfort and love. This comforting can come through our circumstances or it can come in spite of our circumstances. However we find it, we are blessed by Him.

Taking our pain to God for His love and comfort allows us to reach a level of perspective that we never would have found without Him. This changed perspective has become very clear to me through my continuing journey of life with kids who experience life challenges. God has blessed me by connecting me with some incredible people. One of them is a lady who has a beautiful gift with words. Her name is Karen and her daughter is eight years old and has autism. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting Karen in person yet, but I feel like I know her heart from what she has shared with me on her blog, www.kcouchpoetry.blogspot.com. Please take a moment and visit it when you can.

Karen has given me permission to share one of her poems on this blog. It is called Perspective and it reminds us of God's love and promises for us in our circumstances through His Word. He is present in our trials and our triumphs. He is our comforter and our strength. I know that this poem will resonate with all of you.

Perhaps what you read will capture the way you have been feeling too. Please feel free to share your thoughts. I'd love to hear about how you express yourself when faced with trials. We all have them! Or maybe you have a blessing or thought you want to share, something God has placed on your heart.

I continue to thank God for placing me on this journey. Through these last few weeks I have found such peace and happiness in knowing that there are parents out there who, despite the REAL pain and grief of their circumstances, can truly see His blessings moving in their lives. That these parents want to share, support and encourage one another is a gift from Him.

Karen's poem:

Perspective

I wrote this as a response to this mornings meltdown before school...

autism makes me cry.

The Lord remembers my tears and comforts me.

autism brings a communication barrier to relationship.

The Father shed His own Son's blood so we might have no barrier to relationship with Him.

autism brings language misunderstandings.

The Lord's words bring wisdom, understanding, and clarity.

autism is a challenge within our family.

The Lord uses it to refine our love for one another.

autism wants relationship based on self.

The Lord wants relationship based on His words.

autism is present in our family for a reason.

Only the Lord knows the reasons for allowing a family to struggle. His ways are higher.

autism seems to overshadow so many areas in my life.

The Lord is sovereign over every detail in the universe.

autism is oblivious to social language opinions.

The Lord uses this for uninhibited belief and worship.

autism is not evidence of an imperfectly made person, rather,

the Lord convicts an imperfect person's heart of a sinful response to it. 

autism can make ordinary moments of perfect connection rare, but so joyous!

How much more does the Lord desire to perfectly connect with his own children through His word?

autism amazes me with it's effect on our lives.

The Love that comes from the Jesus Christ affects us indescribably more.

autism still makes me cry.

The Lord keeps on remembering my tears... and comforts me.

Bedford's March Dinner & Auction- A Life Changing Experience!



Recently, I had the honor of once again attending The Bedford School March Dinner and Auction. This inspiring evening is held annually at our daughter's school for children with learning differences. It was our fifth year attending and, as always, I was not disappointed.
The theme for this year's event was "Bedford... A Lifechanging Experience."
True to the theme, this school is a life-changing experience for so many kids. These kids come in after struggling in mainstream school environments and they are transformed. Through the instruction, nurturing and teaching of organizational and academic skills the school turns out students who are confident, prepared and academically ready to go back into a mainstream environment. Honestly, I don't know what we would have done without this school. Sara Ashley has been there since the first grade and is now in the fifth. When she started at the school she had just failed to meet the requirements necessary to matriculate from kindergarten to first grade. This despite the fact that she had been in some type of academic environment from the age of three and despite the fact that she had an IEP for kindergarten and received speech services for her expressive language disability during school and after school through a tutor. Rob and I were at our wit's ends trying to figure out how to teach Sara Ashley. This school provided the answers. I consider it a TREMENDOUS unexpected gift from God.

Each year the evening starts with a silent auction. The halls are lined with donated items and opportunities for people to mingle and give their highest bids.

As the bidding ends everyone moves into the gymnasium which has been transformed into a twinkling wonderland. This year I had the honor of designing the table decor. In keeping with the "life changing" theme, I chose to use butterflies as the central decoration. On paper lanterns, we glued hundreds of patterned butterflies. These lanterns were illuminated and placed on each table, surrounded by scrabble chips and votives. It took many, many hands to make these centerpieces and I am grateful for the way it turned out. It was beautiful!

A special thanks to Kim Burgess, who coordinated the entire event from the decor and auction items to the delicious dinner provided by Contemporary Catering. 

My favorite part of this evening is hearing the student testimonial. Each year a former student shares his or her life experiences and how Bedford has played a part in their success. This year Bradley Eisenberg was the alumni speaker.



I was overjoyed to hear of Bradley's successes since leaving the school. Despite his profound learning differences, Bradley is a college graduate and is now doing an internship with Disney. He has also been chosen by Disney as an intern representative for others hoping to enter their program. After his internship with Disney is completed, he hopes to be offered a full time job with the company. He has also returned to work at Bedford's summer camp, Squirrel Hollow, for the last few years serving as PE instructor.

When kids go to Bedford, their experiences there are usually so profound and nurturing that they never truly leave the school. It is not unusual for me to hear that one of Sara Ashley's teachers is a former student of the school or that an alum has come to visit for the day and share their successes with their former teachers and the current students.

Bradley credits Bedford, which he attended from first through eighth grade, for preparing him to make the strides he has been able to attain. He also thanks his parents for their intuitiveness in recognizing his challenges and making the necessary arrangements to help him. It was a joy to see Bradley speak so highly of the school and his teachers and I felt a certain peace in knowing that our daughter was following in his footsteps.

Another special part of the evening was my opportunity to give the "Make Things Happen" speech. This speech is given in order to raise money for Bedford's Scholarship program.

It's no secret that private school is expensive. But when you have a child who is challenged by learning differences, private school is sometimes the best opportunity to give them the tools they need to succeed. The speech I gave outlined our experiences with our daughter, Sara Ashley, and urged parents and guests of the dinner to contribute to Bedford's scholarship fund. I feel strongly that it's important to give so that those who could not otherwise afford the school can also receive this life-changing opportunity. This school has helped our daughter so very much, I was honored to help in this way.



Rob and I also took this chance to surprise Dr. Box, the founder and director of the school, with a special gift ~a flag flown over the Georgia State Capitol in honor of The Bedford School. This special momento and certificate were given to us by our friend and neighbor, State Representative Lynn Smith, when we attended and spoke at the Georgia School Choice Rally in January of this year. 



Dr. Box is a true visionary. A dyslexic learner herself, she founded the school in 1985 after teaching under Dr. Charles Shedd and then pioneering a special education program at Woodward Academy where she taught for fourteen years. The opening of The Bedford School was the culmination of her life-long dream to help other students overcome the issues that she shares. My heart is continuously thankful for the opportunities and direction Dr. Box has provided to my child and other children with learning difference. She and her school are a tremendous blessing!

The mission of The Bedford School is to maximize the potential of students with learning differences and develop foundations for success.

Break My Heart

There is a contemporary Christian song out now that strongly resonates with me. Hearing it causes my throat to catch and my eyes to well with tears. Music has always had a way of doing that to me. And it's because God wants me that way, so that He can humble me, use me, teach me, mold me.
The line that gets me every time is, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours." If you haven't heard it, take a listen.

Casting Crowns, "Jesus Friend of Sinners"

As I was researching this song so I could write about it for this post, I found a video by lead singer Mark Hall. In it he explains his meaning behind the lyrics. The words he spoke literally blew me away as I realized how God had used the Holy Spirit to lead me to it. Please listen...

Really??? I didn't know. But God did! Spiritual gifts of adhd and dyslexia!?!? In the past I would have thought this coincidence. But not today. These kind of things keep happening to me and I can't possibly keep thinking it's all just a stroke of luck or happenstance. He is continually sending me where I need to go these days. And this leaves me in awe.

Hearing Mark's story of how God loves and uses him despite  and through the world's view of his perceived imperfections of adhd and dyslexia, of how He can take what the world considers foolish to shame the wise, and of how He chooses the weak things of the world to shame the strong, brought a resounding "YES!!" to my heart; a heart that often breaks for the children who embody these perceived "imperfections."

God's glory is ever present through our "weakness", using it to show the world that His unexpected gifts and blessings abound.

Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are weak to shame those who are strong.
1 Corinthians 1:27

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Thanks so much for your prayers and messages yesterday! Sara Ashley woke up at 3 am with a fever of 104. We dosed her with ibuprofen and her fever seems to have broken. I'll be calling the doctor back today. This is the 15th day of school my sweet girl has missed this year and I am not happy with it. I'm going to request to have some blood work done so we can make sure there's not more going on than the obvious.

Yesterday I shared with you some of the complexities of dealing with adhd. You also got a glimpse of the pain and frustration I often feel about this disorder. It's real. I have a love/hate relationship with it.

Today, I have been digging in my archives. I came across this devotion that I wrote a few years ago. The timing was good. I needed to read this again to help me realize that it's not all bad. I thank God for His help in giving me a new perspective and I thank my friends and family for their support when I inevitably experience anger and grief.

It's all about choices. Thankfully, with Him, JOY can come in the morning.

Devotional written 2/2011. God was already preparing my heart for this journey...

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.                                                                 Romans 12:6-8

Sara Ashley 2011

My daughter, a dark haired beauty, has an incredible talent for art, an athletic build for swimming and a heart of gold. She is known for her giving spirit and her sweet nature. She also has the “gifts” of adhd and dyslexia. And ALL of these combined traits make her the wonderful person that she is.

This hasn’t always been so easy for me to profess. And admittedly, I sometimes still have trouble accepting the issues that surround her diagnoses, but, through the grace of God, I have learned to look at the bigger picture and it is mighty big!

During one particularly trying period of time, I begged God to take away her differences and make her “normal”, like most every other child we know. Couldn’t He see that her adhd made it difficult for her to remember things, difficult for her to sit still in her seat and even kept her from being able to concentrate on the daily tasks at hand? Didn’t He know that her dyslexia meant that she had to suffer through endless hours of phonics tutoring, difficulty with reading comprehension and just plain difficulty with reading in general? My mind screamed, “Isn’t this cruel and unusual punishment for a little girl??” My anger would often get the best of me and I would implore for God to “cure” her of these differences that sometimes make life difficult for her.

It was during one of these challenging times that my husband came to me with the words that I needed to hear.

“Honey, all of these things make her who she is. And she is so very special just the way she is.”  A few simple words that made such a tremendous impact on my way of thinking.

The same hyperactivity that makes it difficult for my daughter to sit still in her seat also gives her the energy to endure challenging swim meets. And the same issue that makes it difficult for her to decode words gives her the ability to look at things differently and with a unique and artistic eye.

God has made my daughter wonderfully (Psalm 139:14), His workmanship created her to do good works for Him (Ephesians 2:10). She is not defined by her differences or strengths, rather these combined traits give her the ability to lift, serve and teach others, glorify God and to just be the special person that she is.

May we each remember this about all of our special children!

v  Lord, You are the perfect Creator. Help me to remember the many gifts that you bestow upon each and every one of us. Amen

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139:1-16