Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, Down in my Heart!

Dear Mommy, Daddy and of course...Bert!

I miss y'all sooooo much but that's not gonna stop me from having a lot of FUN! I have friends too!

I love y'all! 

Having a great time! SA

Summer Camp. I remember it with such fondness. Meeting new friends, camp fires, hokey songs, cafeteria food, and the outdoor adventures. Even the bad parts hold fond memories: scorpians in my shoes, a homesick friend, bug spray, and not wanting to leave when Mom and Dad came to pick me up. Seems like camp is just a typical rite of passage for most kids.

But for kids with invisible disabilities, camp can be a scary place. Both for the kid and for their parents. Counselors who are often young and don't understand the nuances of our children's differences, as well as cruel judgement by peers are valid concerns for families of these children. It is important to research the camps and their philosophies before sending our kids off on this summer adventure.

This year, I treaded slowly and carefully into the camp waters. After speaking to several friends who have sent their own girls to this particular camp, I began to feel a level of comfort about letting Sara Ashley go. Then, as I read the medication dispensement instructions, I felt even better. Blister packs were required (no possible mix ups) and medications were given by a nurse each morning and evening. Finally, after receiving a very detailed questionnaire asking me about my child's personality, likes, dislikes, and pretty much anything else that I could possibly impart to them about her, my comfort level went from a 5 to a 9. This camp truly seemed to care about my child and her ability to have a positive experience!

After these findings eased my mind, together Sara Ashley and I made the decision for her to go to camp. She was both excited and apprehensive. Making preparations for the week brought an intentional process. Although the camp suggested packing in several small duffel bags, I knew that this was a recipe for disaster for my child. I could visualize clothing from both bags scattered all over the floor of her room as she searched for that perfect shirt she wanted to wear. Instead, I packed her in one large and very organized suitcase. Once opened, everything could be seen at a glance. We reviewed everything in the case and how it was to be used, stored and discarded until we picked her up. We talked about the logistics of taking her medicines, the use for each toiletry item, and every other detail I could think of to prepare her for her week. Although she seemed exasperated with my demand that she slow down long enough to listen to this information, I know that in the long run it was helpful to her.

For the first time ever, I dropped her off into her dorm without having a long conversation with the staff about her ADHD and dyslexia. This transition is due,  in part, to her age, and to the preparatory efforts of the camp. As SA matures, I am beginning to rely on her to voice her own needs and reveal her own differences if she feels that she needs to do this. In the past, I don't think she was mature or verbal enough to advocate for herself. This is a scary but necessary step for us.

Despite the comfort level that I had attained prior to camp, I did worry. As each evening approached, I worried about her ability to fall asleep. This is often hard for her active mind and body. Each morning, I awoke to concerns about her ability to make friends who would accept her for who she is (wonderful, energetic and playful!!). And each day I prayed for her well-being, both physically and mentally.

By the end of the week, I was very ready to see my sweet girl! Arriving at camp, she quickly introduced me to her new friends. I was overjoyed to see that they sincerely liked Sara Ashley. I was also thrilled to hear from some of her counselors who told me of her positive attitude and sweet nature. 

Driving home, I asked Sara Ashley if she had shared her learning differences with her new friends. Not that she needed to, but my curiosity just got the best of me. This is what she said:

"They asked me why I was so wild. I told them that I have ADHD," she shared. "They told me they were so sorry for asking." This she said with a bit of amusement in her voice and a cute smile.
"I told them, 'No, it's OK! It's part of who I am, and it doesn't bother me at all!'"

Thank you Lord, for this child who accepts herself just the way she is. I know that she will face future challenges that may cause her to doubt her self-worth, but for this moment in time, I am thankful. May you continue to use her to teach me and humble me. Because of your works in her life, and in mine, I've got the JOY down in my heart. . .to stay!

The Good News

Reflecting over the last three months, it's hard for me to believe how much has happened. In March, God layed a desire on my heart to somehow help other parents who have children, like my own, who live with life challenges. The "help" He called me to would be in the form of a book. As most of you know, this started the process of writing the book tentatively titled "Unexpected Gifts, God's Blessings for and through Children Facing Life Challenges."

So far, I have interviewed nine families and spoken to countless others, in fact I can't seem to keep up with the people who would like to share their stories with me and for that I apologize. I want to hear all of them! I have also spoken to two groups, written five chapters, have completed a book proposal, have had author business cards printed and am writing endorsement letter requests. I have spoken with two self publishers and am planning to attend an American Christian Writers Association Mentoring workshop in July where I will be mentored by the editor for Wesleyan Publishing and will meet other writers from across the nation. I am excited!! Needless to say, I am also overwhelmed by God's loving and guiding Hands in this process. I certainly know that I am not capable of doing this on my own. I pray that God's blessings are on this book. He knows that parents of kids facing life challenges need love and support, HIS love and support.

A few Saturdays ago I went with friends to hear Babbie Mason and Jessica LaGrone speak at Roswell United Methodist Church. They shared with us their newest bible studies. Babbie spoke about Embraced by God and also used her wonderful musical talent to bring us to our feet in praise. Jessica shared an intriguing study called Namesake, When God Re-Writes Your Story. I enjoyed hearing her talk about Jacob and how God changed his name and his character. Both women were excellent speakers and inspired me further in the writing of my book. They also confirmed the calling that I have received as each quoted bible scripture that has spoken very loudly to me over the last few months. The verses were quoted as their "favorites" and are as follows:

Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Ephesians 3:20
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

These verses speak volumes to me everyday as I encounter parents who share their stories with me. They speak to me about each of our own possibilities to glorify God. They speak to me of the lengths and depths of God's love for us. And they tell me that the path to fulfillment exists only through Him. Despite what others may perceive as our limitations, despite what we may even see as our limitations, God is always able to do more. Remember this as you rise each day to face the world. God is good!

Knocking on the Door

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Matthew 7:7-8

These were my daughter's preschool attempts at humor. Not very successful to the average listener, but they did make my heart smile.

However, all was not happy during that period of time. It seemed that everywhere around me, doors were closing in my face and, seemingly, in my daughter's future. That year, as Sara Ashley was completing kindergarten, my husband and I met with her school's special education team for our year-end meeting. This was a dream team of professionals who were working their hardest to meet our child's needs. But there was no denying the test results that stared me in the face that morning. In black and white I read the words:

Does not meet the requirements necessary to be promoted to the first grade.

"Knock knock," Sara Ashley called from the back seat of the car.
"Who's there?" I replied.
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Banana robot!" 
She squealed with laughter as I smiled in amused confusion.

These were my daughter's preschool attempts at humor. Not very successful to the average listener (like her older brother), but they did make my heart smile.

However, all was not happy during that period of time. It seemed that everywhere around me, doors were closing in my face and in my daughter's future. That year, as Sara Ashley was completing kindergarten, my husband and I met with her school's special education team for our year-end meeting. This was a dream team of professionals who were working their hardest to meet our child's needs. But there was no denying the tests results that stared me in the face that morning. In black and white I read the words:

Does not meet the requirements necessary to be promoted to the first grade.

All around me, for a period of two or three years, I found doors closing:

Matthew 7:7-8

"Knock knock," Sara Ashley called from the back seat of the car.

"Who's there?" I answered.

"Banana"

"Banana who?"

"Banana robot!"
She squealed with laughter as I smiled in amused confusion.

These were my daughter's preschool attempts at humor. Not very successful to the average listener, but they did make my heart smile.

However, all was not happy during that period of time. It seemed that everywhere around me, doors were closing in my face and, seemingly, in my daughter's future. That year, as Sara Ashley was completing kindergarten, my husband and I met with her school's special education team for our year-end meeting. This was a dream team of professionals who were working their hardest to meet our child's needs. But there was no denying the test results that stared me in the face that morning. In black and white I read the words:

Does not meet the requirements necessary to be promoted to the first grade.

All around me, for a period of two or three years, I found doors closing:

•  At Mommy and me in the library it was too hard for her to sit still and listen- slam!
• Ballet and Tap Lessons found her running around the room to the beat of her own drum- slam!
• Shopping at the local mall left me frantically searching for her as she hid in the clothing turn stiles- slam!
• And now the school that we had counted on to teach her was not able to meet her needs- SLAM!

Denise faced similar challenges with her son who has the condition of Asperger's syndrome. Although the doctors and her son's preschool teachers did not recognize the severity of her son's struggles, she knew something was drastically wrong. So the obsessive research began. Hours and hours of research that took her away from nurturing her young daughter, from keeping up with her other responsibilities, and from being the balanced person that she needed to be. Denise shares a particular closing moment from this period in her past. A family vacation. As she and her husband packed, she remembers with clarity his pleading demand.

"We need you to be part of our family Denise. No books or research about childhood illnesses while we are on our trip!" 
SLAM!

Does God open and close doors in our lives? Were these "slamming doors" God's will?


My answer is a resounding- I'm not sure. I am certainly not a theologian, but here is what I do know:

• Whatever our circumstances, whether we feel persecuted or encouraged, whether we see doors as open or closed, God is with us to comfort and love us. If we seek Him, we will find Him. Matthew 7:7-8, Matthew 28:20

• Whatever our circumstances, whether we feel persecuted or encouraged, whether we see doors as open or closed, God is with us to comfort and love us. If we seek Him, we will find Him. Matthew 7:7-8, Matthew 28:20

• God's purposes cannot be thwarted. If God wants something to happen, it will. If that means pushing us forward in a trajectory that leaves us kicking and screaming in protest, so be it. A better response would be to settle in and watch what He's going to do, knowing that His purposes in our lives are for our good and His glory. Job 42:2, Jeremiah 29:11

• Clarity comes later, faith comes now. Although we may not understand our current situation, we must have faith that God's purposes are greater than our current situation's pain or sorrow. Looking to the Bible can give us this clarity. How often, when we read the account of Jesus dying on the cross, do we stop and wonder why God allowed him to endure such pain? But as we read on, it is made abundantly clear that God's purposes were for our own redemption because of His love for us. And that Jesus sits magnificently on the throne at His right hand, in glory. Remembering His faithfulness to us in the past can give us faith to realize that our current circumstances are only temporary.

Despite my knowledge of these three things, when I find myself in the midst of fear for my child, my human reaction can be quite...well, human. The verse in Matthew 7 makes it sound so simple. "Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you." I can assure you that during that period of time I was knocking, but it wasn't on God's door. Instead I knocked on other doors during the early years of our struggles. I knocked on the doors of doctors, specialists, teachers, other parents, and professionals who I thought would hold the answers to my daughter's differences. At the time, my logic in this type of seeking was: What could God possibly tell me that these professionals didn't already know? Hadn't He equipped them with knowledge as part of His divine plan? Couldn't I just bypass that personal "seeking" part? What I learned was: While nothing is wrong with seeking the help of experts and professionals, they can never take the place of praying to God for direction first. 

So I tried. Really. really. hard. To find the "answers" to help my daughter. I tried until I was all tried out. I was defeated. Finally, at my wit's end, I sought Him. I prayed.

God, what is your will for my daughter's life?

Although I did not get immediate answers or see the skies part and hear a thundering voice from above, over time I began to understand. God's ways are not our ways. What did not make sense to me in the here and now over time began to make sense. I can look back now and understand the guiding hand of God. Without the failings of one school situation, we would not have been led to find another school which has proven to be one of the biggest blessings in our lives. And without being forced to try new and different hobbies and outlets, Sara Ashley may never have found her true passions of horseback riding, art, and the outdoors.

And although I can admit that some things will never make sense, my faith and trust has grown as I have continued to seek God through prayer and personal relationship. I have seen God support me and our child in her circumstances. So now, when I don't understand, I still trust in His innate goodness and His promise that He will never leave or forsake me(Deuteronomy 31:8). I trust that it is His desire to give each of us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

Looking back now, Denise also sees that God's plans for her son's life, as well as her own, were for her good. In leaving behind her obsession with researching her son's disability, she found a renewed relationship with her daughter, a new doctor who skillfully guides her family on how to help their son, and a new calling in a large church production that gives God glory.

These days, I am still confusingly amused by my daughter at times. Don't we all feel that way about our kids now and then? Thankfully, with God in charge, I don't have to understand everything. I simply have to seek Him and know that His guiding hand is leading the way.

Matthew 7:7-8

"Knock knock," Sara Ashley called from the back seat of the car.

"Who's there?" I answered.

"Banana"

"Banana who?"

"Banana robot!"
She squealed with laughter as I smiled in amused confusion.

These were my daughter's preschool attempts at humor. Not very successful to the average listener, but they did make my heart smile.

However, all was not happy during that period of time. It seemed that everywhere around me, doors were closing in my face and, seemingly, in my daughter's future. That year, as Sara Ashley was completing kindergarten, my husband and I met with her school's special education team for our year-end meeting. This was a dream team of professionals who were working their hardest to meet our child's needs. But there was no denying the test results that stared me in the face that morning. In black and white I read the words:

Does not meet the requirements necessary to be promoted to the first grade.

All around me, for a period of two or three years, I found doors closing:

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Even in the Valleys

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4

I recently read an article in Compassion Magazine, a publication by Compassion International. This wonderful organization is responsible for spreading the love of Jesus Christ throughout the world through their child sponsorship program. The article was titled, Highly Vulnerable. Highly Valued. It shared the story of a young boy named Erick who lives in Ecuador. His diagnosis of Bardet-Biedl Syndrome earned him the label of a "highly vulnerable child" in Compassion's terminology.

This heightened vulnerability stems from the fact that  his diagnosis is considered a "social death sentence" in his culture. See, unlike children in the United States who live with disabilities, those in foreign countries are often considered cursed by their family and others in society. And they are frequently abandoned by the very ones who should be loving and caring for them.

The heart break that we should all feel for these children can only be mended by the hope of a loving God who can help them in their circumstances. Thankfully, there are several groups who minister to this population including Compassion and another group called Cause 4 Life, part of the Joni & Friends International Disability Ministry. Many of you may remember Joni Eareckson Tada as the lady in the wheelchair who paints with her mouth. As a teenager, Joni suffered a diving accident that left her a quadriplegic. Since that accident, Joni has been God's biggest champion for people throughout the world living with disabilities.

Below is a Youtube video from Cause 4 Life that I wanted to share. As you watch, note the change in the mother of these two young boys who both have the disability of cerebral palsy. Imagine the sorrow and pain she has endured while watching others in her own community shun her children. Thankfully, through God's love she has renewed hope and help in her circumstances. 

How can we help a hurting world? How can we show our own special children that they are perfect in God's eyes? By sharing His love with them, we can heal their hurts and renew their hopes. One child at a time, through God's Holy Spirit in us, we can make a difference in this world.

There's an App for That!

Ten years ago the word "app" wasn't even in my vocabulary. Neither were the words iphone, ipad, ipod or Twitter. My how the times have changed!

Ten years ago I was living what I thought was the American dream. Our children were one and five and I had gone back to work. My career as an interior designer was thriving and my husband's self-owned landscaping business was also flourishing as residential and commercial development skyrocketed in our area. We had recently moved from our quaint 1800 square foot bungalow home into a historic Georgian manor home and we would soon also purchase a lake home in order to "get away" from the hustle and bustle of our lives. We worked from early in the morning until late into the evening, striving to gain the riches that the world promised would make us happy and respected by our peers.

As our children grew, I began pushing my son to participate in every sports league and social event that a five year old can attend. Our neighbors were also climbing their way up the social and economic ladder. We often spent evenings with them drinking wine and celebrating our successes. We were on our way- or so we thought.

A few short years later things began to make a drastic turn. The career that I had once enjoyed had taken over my life and I realized that I no longer desired to rise to the top in my field. The economy had taken a huge hit and both my work and my husband's business rapidly declined as the real estate markets flat-lined. Our fun-loving neighbors were headed to divorce court and our youngest child was diagnosed with multiple learning disabilities. The ultimate blow was when my husband's father was diagnosed with throat cancer.

A time of reflection and searching followed. All my life I had done what I thought was "right" in they eyes of the world. My work ethic was stellar. I pushed myself to go above and beyond what was expected of me and I demanded that same work ethic from those around me, including my husband and my children. I was hard on everyone. As time progressed, I began to realize that what I had perceived as "right" might not be the answer after all. In this time of searching, God began calling my name.

The Bible had always been a mystery to me. The language and words stilted and hard for me to comprehend. Of course until that time, I'd only read it sparingly. My understanding was that it was simply a framework of how to live a "good" life and I thought I already knew the answer to that. But soon I realized that the Bible was more than just a framework for morality. As I began to study the stories, they made more sense. I found myself relating to the characters and I longed to apply the teachings in my life.

One particular story resonated strongly with me - the Parable of the Lost Son. See, like the older brother in the story, I thought that I was doing ALL the right things. I was always obedient to my parent's/boss's wishes, always the hard worker trying to please others and "do the right thing," always looking for approval and gain along the way. But I was also hard on and unforgiving of others, judging them by my own set of self-imposed standards. I began to wonder what my intentions were. Was I trying to help people? Or was I simply trying to get ahead and stroke my ego? Were my desires for my children to help them find God's purposes in their lives by letting them experience new things? Or was I simply trying to "keep up with the Joneses?"

I soon realized that my role in this parable was not that of the first born child, but of the lost one. I was lost "in the world." And as I responded to God's whisper of my name, I was awestruck by His desire for me, despite my many years of confusion and sin. His pull in my life led me to read His Word, and over time the stories began leaping off of the pages, speaking to my daily struggles and giving me life applications and guidance.

I now know the true reason for the Bible, His holy Word. God never intended for it to sit on a shelf, gathering dust. He never meant for it to be a set of ancient rules that are not relevant to our daily lives or a set of morals for us to use without an understanding of His love for us. God's desire is for us to find ourselves in these stories, and in the midst of finding ourselves, to find Him.

Do you look at the problems in your life and wonder how God can work in your circumstances? Is the Bible still a mystery to you? God's love is revealed on the pages of His Word. The stories are timeless and speak to each of our situations. Open your Bible and you will find the answers you have been searching for. I promise you, the Bible is the ultimate "App" for that!

Faith Sharing Part II

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

In Bill Hybel's book, Just Walk Across the Room, Hybel gives great recommendations on how to approach people when sharing your faith. One of the most important suggestions he makes is to have your own "before-and-after" story. This story is the faith story of our lives; how we fit into God's greater story.

As Hybel shares, "When people grasp the magnificent truth that the gospel has direct implications for the meaning of their stories, all sorts of light bulbs flicker to life:

I can be found like the lost son.
I can be cared for by a Good Shepherd too.
My deepest needs- like the widow's - can actually be met.
I can receive abundant life just by exhibiting the tiniest amount of faith.
It's really true: anyone can get healed, renewed, transformed, and thrust into abundant life."

I am now working on my "story". In the Christian book world, it is called my 2-minute sales pitch of God's purpose for the book I am writing. In the "real world" it's called sharing your faith in hopes of leading others to Christ, or that other word that I used to hate so much- EVANGELISM. It has taken years for me to remove the negative connotations I have personally connected with that word. Sunday mornings of hearing preachers shout and rant about how I was going to hell if I didn't accept Christ into my heart turned my ability to receive God's love into an impenetrable brick wall. But boy does God have a sense of humor! After finally understanding God's love for me (not just His wrath), I am now the chair of the Evangelism committee at my church. Who would've ever dreamed He would lead me down this path?!?

Hybel lists four criticisms for the stories Christians often tell when sharing their faith and I believe that many of my reasons for hating the word "evangelism" in the past stem from these four reasons. They are as follows:
1. Long-windedness- your story really needs to be kept at three minutes. After that, you simply lose your audience.
2. Fuzziness- your story needs to be simple with a clear plot line that conveys the heartbeat of your faith journey. A confusing story is a sure way to leave seekers scratching their heads.
3. Religionese- verbiage needs to be such that those who are not believers understand and appreciate the words used. In the past, before I had experienced God's love, religionese was just an irritating platitude to me.
4. Superiority- pious remarks and haughty assumptions that show a lack of caring for others will never win others over for Christ. Don't talk down to people. Share and, more importantly, LISTEN.
And here's one I'd like to add:
5. Pressure tactics- pressing and threatening someone with the threat of eternal damnation is NOT the way to share a loving God with them. If your story does not lead them to Christ, consider it a seed planted. Only God can turn someones heart to Him. We are simply sharing His love in hopes that others will accept and find it too.

I want to encourage anyone who desires to lead others to Christ to work on their own stories too. And next time someone opens up to you by asking why you are so excited about your own faith or how you manage to live your life with peace and joy, rather than a constant state of anxiety or worry, tell them as simply as possible what was going on before you met Christ and what has been going on since you began following Him. I know in my own life, the differences are incredible and I pray that they are both inward and outward. Inwardly, I know that God has changed me, refined me, humbled me and loved me, enabling me to live with the peace of knowing that His love is always there for me. Outwardly- well, I'm still working on that, but I pray that my actions are speaking much louder now than my words ever did before finding Him.

Faith Sharing Part I



And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”
Isaiah 6:8

We had just finished Sara Ashley's first horseback riding lesson with a new instructor and I wanted to let her select a new book for summer reading, so we went to visit our local Barnes & Noble. That's where I found her, parked comfortably in a wooden chair that she had pulled up to the "Young Readers 7-12" section of the book store. On the ground next to her sat a basket full of her already selected books, and she continued to peruse the shelves looking for more. As I walked the aisle, she kindly asked me if she was in my way. Her age and obvious difficulty with mobility seemed to have her pinned to her chosen spot where she was able to reach both left and right for multiple titles.

"No, your just fine. Thank you, " I replied.
Sara Ashley and I continued our search. Me pulling books off of the shelf and reading the backs, looking for Newberry Awards and interesting plots. Her looking at the cover photograph or illustration and for pictures of horses. It is always a challenge to find the "right" book for her, not wanting to select something too difficult that will deter her from reading, but also not wanting to select something so easy that she doesn't learn or relate to it.

"Have you heard about the summer reading club for kids?" she asked me.
"No, thanks for sharing, " I replied, and she passed me a flier. On it were listed free books that could be earned by reading ten books over the summer. The free books were divided by grade and gave me a good idea of some suggestions for my daughter.

I began pulling the suggested reading from the shelf when she engaged in more conversation.
"I'm looking for my granddaughter. She likes dragons and fantasy. Does this look like something your daughter would like?" and she handed me the book.
Sara Ashley is not a dragon kind of girl but I gladly accepted the book and thanked her. It was then that I lamented to her that I had a hard time finding just the right book for my daughter, although I didn't go into details.
"Well, I do too," she agreed. "My granddaughter has a learning disability."

Really??? Wow! Of all the people I could have run into that day, God sent me to this kind lady who shared her story with me about her "granddaughter." As it turns out, this ten year old isn't really her granddaughter at all, but is the child of a friend who is down on her luck."Nana", as this woman is affectionately called, has taken in this young girl and is raising her as her own. Nana is a retired school teacher and media specialist doing the best she can to help her "granddaughter" navigate the school system and get what she needs in order to maximize her potential. As we lamented about the challenges involved, I looked for just the right moment to share how God was helping me and others through this often painful and frustrating process.

My heart urged me to share with her how God was working in my life and my daughter's life to show His love and glory. Regretfully, although we talked for about 15 minutes, I never found what I thought was the right opportunity to tell her this. Although I'm sorry that this opportunity didn't seem to present itself, I still know that by simply slowing down enough to have this conversation, we were both blessed in the process.

The following Sunday in church our pastor's sermon was on "Storytelling." He encouraged us to step out in faith and share with others who are hurting our own personal stories of God's love in our lives. After all, His love is not limited. It is for everyone. Of course, this reminded me of my time at Barnes & Noble earlier in the week and my missed opportunity. How many more opportunities have I missed over the years? How many do I miss every week? God puts us in situations to minister to others, and to share His love. I don't want to have to live with regret next time I am faced with this opportunity.

How can we step out of our comfort zones and share our faith effectively? God has done so much in my life that I often find myself wanting to shout it from the mountain tops. But, knowing how I would've reacted to that type of "evangelism" in the past, I don't want to scare away others who are still on the fence about their faith in God. Be sure to read Faith Sharing Part II on Thursday to learn how God can effectively use each of us to share His love.