Thursday, March 28, 2013

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Thanks so much for your prayers and messages yesterday! Sara Ashley woke up at 3 am with a fever of 104. We dosed her with ibuprofen and her fever seems to have broken. I'll be calling the doctor back today. This is the 15th day of school my sweet girl has missed this year and I am not happy with it. I'm going to request to have some blood work done so we can make sure there's not more going on than the obvious.

Yesterday I shared with you some of the complexities of dealing with adhd. You also got a glimpse of the pain and frustration I often feel about this disorder. It's real. I have a love/hate relationship with it.

Today, I have been digging in my archives. I came across this devotion that I wrote a few years ago. The timing was good. I needed to read this again to help me realize that it's not all bad. I thank God for His help in giving me a new perspective and I thank my friends and family for their support when I inevitably experience anger and grief.

It's all about choices. Thankfully, with Him, JOY can come in the morning.

Devotional written 2/2011. God was already preparing my heart for this journey...

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.                                                                 Romans 12:6-8

Sara Ashley 2011

My daughter, a dark haired beauty, has an incredible talent for art, an athletic build for swimming and a heart of gold. She is known for her giving spirit and her sweet nature. She also has the “gifts” of adhd and dyslexia. And ALL of these combined traits make her the wonderful person that she is.

This hasn’t always been so easy for me to profess. And admittedly, I sometimes still have trouble accepting the issues that surround her diagnoses, but, through the grace of God, I have learned to look at the bigger picture and it is mighty big!

During one particularly trying period of time, I begged God to take away her differences and make her “normal”, like most every other child we know. Couldn’t He see that her adhd made it difficult for her to remember things, difficult for her to sit still in her seat and even kept her from being able to concentrate on the daily tasks at hand? Didn’t He know that her dyslexia meant that she had to suffer through endless hours of phonics tutoring, difficulty with reading comprehension and just plain difficulty with reading in general? My mind screamed, “Isn’t this cruel and unusual punishment for a little girl??” My anger would often get the best of me and I would implore for God to “cure” her of these differences that sometimes make life difficult for her.

It was during one of these challenging times that my husband came to me with the words that I needed to hear.
“Honey, all of these things make her who she is. And she is so very special just the way she is.”  A few simple words that made such a tremendous impact on my way of thinking.

The same hyperactivity that makes it difficult for my daughter to sit still in her seat also gives her the energy to endure challenging swim meets. And the same issue that makes it difficult for her to decode words gives her the ability to look at things differently and with a unique and artistic eye.

God has made my daughter wonderfully (Psalm 139:14), His workmanship created her to do good works for Him (Ephesians 2:10). She is not defined by her differences or strengths, rather these combined traits give her the ability to lift, serve and teach others, glorify God and to just be the special person that she is.
May we each remember this about all of our special children!

v  Lord, You are the perfect Creator. Help me to remember the many gifts that you bestow upon each and every one of us. Amen

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
Psalm 139:1-16


  1. I'm praying Sara Ashley starts to feel better very soon! This was a wonderful post. I know you are going to be of great encouragement to parents that are struggling. I love that you admit all your feelings of fear and anger, but how God reminds you how we are fearfully and wonderfully made!! Praying for you as you continue your journey writing your book. Your faith and perserverence is a true testament of your love for The Lord!!

  2. Thank you Heidi. She is feeling much better.I so appreciate your encouragement. God is guiding me and it is an amazing journey. I have been blessed by meeting many parents just like me. They are an inspriration. I know God's going to use this to His glory and I am humbled by it. Happy Easter!